


Home is Where the Heart Is

by BatmanWhoLaughss



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: Rebellion Era - All Media Types, Star Wars: Rebels
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Feels, Domestic Fluff, Episode: s04e10 Jedi Night, Established Relationship, Eventual Smut, F/M, Family Bonding, Family Dynamics, Family Feels, Family Fluff, Father-Son Relationship, Fix-It, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff without Plot, Happy Ending, Hera Syndulla Needs A Hug, Kanan Jarrus Lives, Lightsaber Training (Star Wars), Marriage, Marriage Proposal, Multi, Past Character Death, Post-Battle of Endor (Star Wars), Post-Canon, Post-Star Wars: Rebels, References to Star Wars: Original Trilogy, Reunion Sex, Reunions, Reunited and It Feels So Good, Romance, Sighted Kanan Jarrus, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Wedding Fluff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-29
Updated: 2021-02-10
Packaged: 2021-03-07 00:21:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 37,647
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26167825
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BatmanWhoLaughss/pseuds/BatmanWhoLaughss
Summary: “But then, while I was stuck out there, I started thinking about you, how you were alone because we were too late, and I thought–if I timed it exactly right–maybe things could change. Maybe we could be selfish, just this once, and it would be alright”Sabine comes back, with Ezra in tow. Hera's overjoyed to have them back, but she doesn't expect them to bring along something even better.****NOTE: Chapter 4 is rated M!!!****
Relationships: Ezra Bridger & Hera Syndulla, Ezra Bridger & Jacen Syndulla, Ezra Bridger & Kanan Jarrus, Ezra Bridger & Luke Skywalker, Hera Syndulla & Jacen Syndulla, Jacen Syndulla & Sabine Wren, Kanan Jarrus & Ahsoka Tano, Kanan Jarrus & CT-7567 | Rex, Kanan Jarrus & Jacen Syndulla, Kanan Jarrus & Luke Skywalker, Kanan Jarrus & Sabine Wren, Kanan Jarrus/Hera Syndulla, Leia Organa & Hera Syndulla, The Ghost Crew & Kanan Jarrus
Comments: 157
Kudos: 261





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> "But how did kanan survive?"
> 
> Don't look too closely at it. We all need him back. 
> 
> I'm actually really happy with this fic and it gave me so much serotonin to write. I love Kanan so hecking MUCH and he and Hera deserve to be happy together.

Hera’s standing in the briefing room on base, hunched over a table and trying to will her head to stop pounding. 

Things haven’t slowed down since the Empire fell. The Rebellion morphed into the New Republic, and all her hopes that things would be less busy and she would have more time to spend with Jacen were dashed. Mon Mothma and General Organa needed her to run point on some cleanup ops, and she’s spent the past few months playing quartermaster while her squadron cleans up the Outer Rim.

It’s a little quieter than the missions the _Ghost_ crew used to run, but the remnants of the Empire are still out there, so life goes on. Zeb relocated to Lira-San, to be with the few members of his kin that are left. Sabine and Ahsoka took off a few months ago too, on a mission they kept very quiet. Sabine seemed convinced that there was something she needed to do, something tied to the liberation of Lothal, that Ezra was counting on her for. 

Hera didn’t ask too many questions, when she left. She’s blocked those dark days from her memory, for the most part. Opening those wounds always brought trouble. She gave Sabine the _Ghost_ , since she was grounded for the foreseeable future, and her blessing. Sabine gave Hera a hug and a promise to come back soon, with a steely look in her eye. 

That was almost six months ago. Today, Hera’s head is splitting, and she’s getting antsy waiting for her pilots to check in. Her squad is running a routine supply convoy to Dantooine, but they’re overdue to report. She’s trying not to worry too much. Lately, all she’s been doing is worrying. 

Jacen’s been antsy lately, too. He’s getting restless, cooped up on the base, and Hera can’t blame him. He’s like his father that way; Hera smiles as she remembers how grumpy Kanan used to get while they were between ops. Then she fights the involuntary pang in her chest at the thought. She still misses him, even now. Today she has a rare reprieve; Jacen is playing with his friend Poe and his mother, and he’s in good hands that aren’t hers for a change.

Suddenly, the comm she’s hunched over beeps loudly. _Finally_. “Go for General Syndulla.”

“Hera?” _That’s_ not the voice she expects. “Hera! This is Specter Five.” 

“I read you, Specter Five.” _What is she doing back here?_ “What do you need? Did you do something to my ship?” Hera trusts Sabine, but the _Ghost_ will always be her baby. 

“ _No_ , Specter Two,” Sabine laughs. She sounds… light. Happy. The kind of happy that’s infectious, and that she doesn’t hear often in Sabine’s voice anymore. “Just get to Hangar Bay Four as soon as you can. We’re inbound, and there’s something you _really_ need to see.” 

“Copy, Specter Five. I’m on my way.” What could Sabine possibly need her to see? She jerks her head at Chopper, who’s been parked in the corner of the briefing room and watching her intently. “C’mon Chop. Best not keep Sabine waiting.”

* * *

They make it to the hangar bay in record time. Hera’s a little anxious, but she can’t quite place why. There was something in Sabine’s voice. She sounded happier than Hera can remember her being in a long time, but there was a serious edge to it too. 

But when they get to the _Ghost_ , Sabine is leaning against the exit ramp, her smile brighter than Hera’s ever seen it. Her hair is bright blue now, instead of the deep purple it had been when she left. It’s a good look on her, and Hera can’t help but throw her arms around her when she comes running over. Out of the corner of her eye, she sees Chopper keep going, barreling towards the _Ghost_ and warbling indistinctly. It loosely translates to _let’s see what Sabine did to the ship._

“Hey, Hera,” Sabine says warmly. “It’s great to see you.” 

“You too, Sabine. But what are you doing here? You should have let me know you were coming back. I would have done something, or–”

Sabine cuts her off. She’s _incredibly_ excited about something. Hera can tell; she has that same manic energy she always used to get when she was painting, or planning to blow something up. It’s slightly alarming. “Hera, remember my mission?” 

Hera raises an eyebrow. “How could I forget? You’ve had my ship for six months.”

Sabine laughs. “Well… I never really told you the details, did I? After Lothal, I started thinking about what Ezra said. About how he was counting on me. And I kept thinking he was still out there, somewhere. He _couldn’t_ be dead–he was trying to tell me something.” One look at Hera’s face makes Sabine change course. “I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want you to look at me exactly the way you’re looking at me now. I didn’t want you to tell me I was crazy.” 

Hera opens her mouth to tell her that of course she didn’t think that, but how could she think Ezra was still alive? They all saw what happened. But then Sabine grips her wrist tightly as she says, “Hera, I was _right._ ”

Hera’s breath catches in her throat, suddenly. “What?” She doesn’t recognize her own voice.

Sabine smiles again, and her eyes are shining. “I was right. Ezra’s _alive._ ” That alone makes Hera’s legs wobble. But then she says, “I _found him._ ” 

“You _what?_ Where–how–” 

“It took a little longer than I hoped, but she did find me.” 

That’s a new voice, but it’s one she would recognize anywhere. Her heart stops, as Ezra Bridger suddenly emerges at Sabine’s side. Hera lets out a strangled gasp of surprise. 

He’s gotten taller, and his hair is longer than it had been when he left. It's almost the same length as when he first came onto the _Ghost_. He’s sporting a bit of stubble on his face–Kanan used to tease him endlessly about how hard it was for him to grow a beard. But she would recognize those blue eyes anywhere.

 _“Ezra…”_ She’s frozen, staring at him in utter shock. She’s missed him _so_ much, in the years since Lothal, almost as much as she misses Kanan. Ezra became such a big part of all their lives, and there isn’t a day that goes by that she doesn’t think about him. 

Then Ezra pulls her into a hug. “Hey, Hera. I really missed you.” And Hera laughs again, because this is _surreal._ Part of her always suspected that Sabine’s mysterious “mission” was tied to Ezra somehow, but Hera always thought that she was just doing something on Lothal. She never imagined that she would see him standing in front of her again. 

“Ezra… _Stars, look_ at you.” She’s at a loss for words as she pulls back to stare at him. She’s framing his face in her hands, and it’s almost as if she’s inspecting him. He’s grown so much since the last time she saw him. He’s taller now, and he’s no longer the lanky teenager she used to know. He’s a grown man now, and she’s suddenly overwhelmed with sadness that she didn’t get to watch him grow up. She still loves him like he’s her own, and she wishes she could have been there. “How–where were you? I thought–the purrgill…” 

“I can’t really explain it,” Ezra says, rubbing the back of his neck with one hand. It’s a tell he picked up from Kanan, all those years ago. “I know I _should_ have died, going into hyperspace like that. The Chimera should have exploded, really. But somehow… we got thrown into wild space instead. Me, Thrawn… the whole Star Destroyer.” Then he smiles. “I left some breadcrumbs for Sabine. I was pretty confident she’d be able to follow them.”

Hera lets out a shaky laugh. She still can’t quite believe he’s real. “You’ve grown so much…” There’s a hint of wonder in her voice. If it weren’t for the brilliant blue of his eyes, Hera wouldn’t recognize him as the boy she once knew. 

“Sabine was filling me in on everything I missed. Sounds like a lot’s changed around here, too.” There’s a knowing look in his eye, and Hera meets it with her own shining ones. 

“Something like that,” she laughs. “I can’t believe you’re _here._ ” 

“I’m here, Hera. I’m home.” 

_Home._ It’s been a long time since she’s heard Ezra say that. The last time she did, it was a different galaxy. One where she still had her family. Now, staring at Ezra Bridger, standing in front of her for the first time in years, she’s starting to think that maybe the possibility of getting her family back isn’t so far-fetched. 

But it wouldn’t really be the same, would it? There’s one vital piece still missing, one that would never be returned. 

She banishes the ugly thought from her mind, focusing on Ezra again. “You’ve grown so _much_ ,” she says again. She can’t help but repeat it. “You– _stars,_ we have so much to catch up on.” Because of course they do; she needs to introduce him to Jacen, tell him about everything that’s happened since the Empire fell, and tell him about how unbelievably well Lothal has been doing since the liberation. 

Ezra nods. “I know. I’d–I’d like that a lot.” He rubs the back of his neck again, and it’s almost like he’s asking her for permission. It’s like he thought she wouldn’t want him here, even after all that time she spent missing him.

She wants to banish the thought from his mind. “Don’t think I’m letting you out of my sight, mister,” she says. She keeps her voice light, but there’s a hint of her _General Syndulla_ voice in there too. It’s the same hard tone she used to use whenever Ezra and Chopper would fight, in the old days. 

Ezra laughs. “I’m counting on it, General.” The warmth in his voice and the sight of his smile is warming her heart. “I’d like to stick around for a while, if you’ll have me.” 

The fact that he thought she wouldn’t almost makes her laugh again. She’s so unbelievably happy to have him back again that the thought of sending him away is unthinkable. She wants to keep him close by and never let him go–the fact that he’s a grown adult now be damned. 

“Well.” She pretends to think. “There’s plenty of work that needs doing around here. You’ll have to earn your keep,” she says, and there’s a mock-seriousness to her tone. He catches onto the joke though, and he’s still smiling as he nods. “Besides, having a Jedi around would certainly make things run a little more smoothly.”

Ezra chuckles, but he’s rubbing the back of his neck again. “Yeah. About that…”

Hera frowns, and there’s a sudden tightness in her chest. “What is it?” 

“...what if there wasn’t just one Jedi around here?”

Hera raises an eyebrow again, but she’s suddenly tense all over. Ezra’s got a strange look on his face, like apprehension and fear and hope all rolled into one. It’s a little unsettling. “What do you mean, not just one Jedi?” She’s waiting with bated breath, her skin tingling in a way she can’t really explain. She’s still overwhelmed with joy at _finally_ having Ezra back, but now she’s starting to get worried.

“I mean…” He trails off, grimacing. It’s like he knows what he needs to say but he’s having trouble getting the words out. But he also seems… excited, at the same time. “Hera, listen.” Hera glances at Sabine with a raised brow, wondering what on earth could leave Ezra so rattled, but so happy at the same time. She betrays nothing, only watching Hera with a large smile on her face. 

“I–I had a lot of time to think, while I was stuck out there with Thrawn. About everything.” Ezra rubs the back of his neck. He still looks nervous, and there’s still a prickle along the back of her neck that she can’t explain. “Back on Lothal, after–after the fuel pod… I thought I needed to let go. That I was doing the right thing. And it _was_ the right thing, at the time.” 

Hera’s heart is suddenly _pounding_ , but Ezra keeps going. “But then, while I was stuck out there, I started thinking about you, how you were alone because we were too late, and I thought–if I timed it _exactly right–_ maybe things could change. Maybe we could be selfish, just this once, and it would be alright.”

Hera doesn’t quite understand what he’s talking about, but something about the tone of his voice makes her think that he’s building towards something _big_ , something that will change everything. And now she’s barely _breathing_ , because she’s hoping like she hasn’t dared to in years. Her mind is inevitably drifting to a pair of brilliant blue eyes that she hasn’t seen in much too long. _No. Don’t. He’s gone._

“Ezra…” She’s surprised that her voice is still steady. Her eyes are wide, suddenly hopeful and desperate and _terrified._ She looks over at Sabine again, and her smile has only gotten bigger. She can even see Chopper, over by the exit ramp of the _Ghost_ , bouncing from side to side with excitement. “Ezra, what are you saying?”

Then Ezra smiles, and she’s startled to see tears in his eyes. “Sabine and Ahsoka brought me home. But… I realized things wouldn’t be the same unless I brought someone else home too.” 

Now Hera’s not breathing _at all. No. No,_ no, _it can’t be…_ Her heartbeat is ringing in her ears and her legs are suddenly wobbling. Because he’s _dead_ , he burned up along with her heart on Lothal and nothing would ever change that. Her eyes are shining as she stares at Ezra with a silent question on her face. He sees it, but he only smiles at her, then steps to the side. 

And that’s when she bursts into tears, her knees giving out beneath her as she lets out something between a laugh and a sob. Because standing on the entry ramp of the _Ghost_ , next to a _very_ excited Chopper, is a face she never thought she would see again. It’s a face that’s haunted her dreams and nightmares for the past four years, and it reduces her mind to nothing more than a blank puddle of unrestrained joy.

His hair is long again, instead of the short cut he had the night of the explosion. He’s sporting that familiar goatee she used to tease him _endlessly_ about, and he’s wearing the same green sweater he always used to. But what makes her cry even harder as she hits the floor is his _eyes_. They’re brilliant blue instead of milky white. She thought she hallucinated that during the fire. She figured it was a trick of the light or the drugs messing with her brain. 

She has no idea how he’s standing here, but he’s staring at her like he’s drinking her in. She wonders if she’s hallucinating, if this is a dream that she’s going to eventually wake up from. Or if this is some dark trick, some remnant of the Empire or the Inquisition or the Dark side seeking to take even more from her. But she suddenly doesn’t care, because he’s _sprinting_ towards her, and she thinks she sees tears in his eyes too. Then he’s on his knees, skidding smoothly over to her and wrapping her in his arms so tightly it’s bone-crushing. 

It’s like Hera’s entire world rights itself in this moment, like everything’s been off-balance until now and the ground has suddenly shifted back to normal underneath her feet. It’s like everything was gray and now suddenly there’s a brilliant spark of color, like the pieces of herself that have been missing for four years are suddenly back in place. She buries her face in the crook of his neck and fists her hands in his tunic. Then she starts to sob even louder, until she’s practically disintegrating and he’s the only thing holding her up at all. Because he’s _real_. He’s _here._ She can feel his heart pounding where his chest is pressed to hers, and they’re both trembling as he pulls her closer.

“ _Kanan?”_ She’s hugging him just as tightly, and she can feel him taking shaky breaths. She has a million questions, a thousand things she dreamt she would say to him if she ever saw him again. But her mind is suddenly blank, and all she knows is how unbelievably _right_ it feels to hold him again. “How- when- you were- _Kanan.”_ She’s struggling to get the words out through her sobs. His hands are _everywhere_ , roaming across her back and trying to touch as much of her as possible, and she can practically feel how desperate he is. 

Then he pushes her back, lifting her head off his shoulder, and for one horrible moment she thinks this was all an elaborate trap. Kanan’s going to fade away and she’ll wake up in her bed alone again. But then he’s cupping her face, pulling it close to his so he can really look at her. And there’s such a look of _wonder_ in his eyes as he _sees_ her for the first time in years that it breaks her heart all over again. There are tears trailing down his face that mirror her own, but his smile could power a thousand starships. He stares at her for another beat, like he’s trying to memorize every inch of her face, before crashing his lips against hers. 

The world went from gray to color before, but now it’s bathed in a brilliant, blinding light. His mouth is still against hers, just for a moment, before she flings her arms around his neck and she’s kissing him in a desperate frenzy. She can taste the salt of both their tears, and part of her knows the kids are still watching, but she doesn’t care. His tongue meets hers with the same frantic energy, and his hand cups the back of her neck as the other brushes her face to wipe the tears away.

Hera has no idea how much time passes while her mouth is fused to his. It could be a minute, it could be an hour–stars, an entire _day_ could pass and she wouldn’t care. She feels like she’s floating, like she’s hopped up on every drug imaginable, because this is everything she’s ever wanted but never dared dream she would have. 

Eventually, the need for air becomes too much, and they break apart, but she doesn’t let go of him. She’s _never_ letting go of him, not ever again, and he doesn’t seem to mind. He tugs her closer _still_ and leans his forehead against hers. There’s a sparkle in his eyes that’s mending every crack in her heart, and his smile is still brighter than any sun she’s ever seen. 

His hands come up to frame her face. “I love you,” he whispers, and she almost starts crying again at the sound of his voice. All she had until now was old holorecordings, but they don't compare to the real thing at _all._ “I love you. I love you _so much._ I always have. I’m so _sorry._ ” The words are pouring from him, like he can’t get them out fast enough, and a few more tears leak from her eyes even as she tries to stop them. “I had to keep you safe.”

She buries her head in his shoulder again as she whispers his name. She’s remembering that horrible night on top of the fuel pod, and the look of defeated disbelief on his face when she told him she loved him. All the regret and sorrow at everything she should have told him ages ago is coming back. “I love you too,” she says. The words are muffled, but she can feel him relax as soon as she says them, like he doubted that she would. And it _hurts_ her that she ever made him doubt what he means to her, even for a second. “I love you. I’m sorry too–I should have told you _years_ ago.” She’s crying again, hiccuping her sobs into his neck, and she feels him stroke her back. “I’m so _sorry,_ Kanan. I should have told you from the start, I should have said something sooner, I-”

“Hera,” he murmurs. And _that’s_ the last piece, that’s when the hole inside her closes for good, because she thought she would never hear him say her name again. He brings her face up to his, brushing away the tears again. “It’s alright. I’m here now.”

“ _Are you?_ ” she breathes. She can’t help herself; she has to know, because part of her refuses to believe this isn’t a dream. “Is it really you?” She grips his wrists in her hands.

Kanan laughs, and it makes her smile so brightly that her face hurts. “It’s really me, Hera. I can’t explain how–Ezra did something. He pulled me out of the fire… _somehow_ , through this portal. I spent weeks in a bacta tank and it’s a miracle I survived, and I _still_ don’t know how I can see again–” He’s rambling, bursting at the seams and talking almost too fast for her to keep up with. “–and I’m still worried this is all some illusion that’s going to bite us all in the ass someday, but I’m _here._ I’m here and I love you and I’m not going _anywhere_.” 

Hera laughs along with him, breathing a soft _I love you too_ into his shoulder as she pulls him close again. She glances around them as she repeats the words over and over, almost like she’s trying to say it once for each day he was gone. They’re both still on their knees in the main hangar, and they have to _both_ be starting to cramp up by now, but neither of them seem to be paying it any mind. She can see Ezra and Sabine watching them, both grinning widely with tears trailing down their faces. Losing Kanan and then Ezra had shattered the balance that kept their little family together, and she never dreamed that they would ever get that equilibrium back. 

There’s a part of her that’s still in a trance. A part that feels like someone dosed her up with liquid spice, because this can’t _possibly_ be happening. And then Kanan leans down to whisper softly in her ear, so that only she can hear: “Let’s go somewhere.” And _that’s_ the final thing that snaps her out of her daze, because those are the exact words he said to her, all those years ago when he first stepped onto her ship and this wild ride they’ve been on together first began. It’s the last straw that makes any shred of doubt that he’s really here disappear completely. 

She still has so much she wants to say to him, so many things she needs to tell him, but she’s so overwhelmed right now that she’s silent. From the way Kanan strokes her back as he rests his chin on the top of her head, she knows he can tell. She knows _he_ must have even more questions than she does. He must be eager to find out about everything that’s changed since he’s been gone, but right now they’re both just basking in the other’s presence. She can feel his heart pounding against her own, and she’s still shocked at how overwhelmingly _solid_ he is as they hold each other. They’ve been attached for what feels like hours, but neither of them seem to have any intention of pulling away. 

Hera opens her mouth to tell him that she loves him again, since she _still can’t get enough of saying it_ , when a quiet voice sounds from behind her and she tenses up. “Mommy?” _Jacen._ Oh, kriff. 

Kanan goes rigid, rocking back on his knees as he stares at Jacen in surprise. He walks up to Hera, and even though her eyes are still frozen to Kanan’s face, she wraps an arm around her son. “Hey, baby,” she says after a moment. “I thought you were with Aunt Shara and Poe?”

“They had to go. Aunt Shara brought me here.” 

Kanan looks like someone ripped the world out from under his feet. She can practically see the gears turning in his head; his eyes are wider than she’s ever seen them, and there’s suddenly a pained expression there that she wants to wipe away. The horrified look on his face means that Ezra and Sabine must not have told him, and were waiting for her to do it. But he looks so utterly and unbelievably sad in this moment that she aches to hold him again. She knows exactly what he’s thinking; he’s jumping to conclusions, thinking she must have moved on without him and found someone new, and she can see every unique way that thought cracks him open written all over his face. She sees him mentally steeling himself for the inevitable, and it almost rips her in half.

Before she can set the record straight, explain that there’s no _possible_ way that could ever happen, that Jacen is _theirs_ , and they can be a family again, Jacen lets go of her and turns to look at Kanan. Something passes across Kanan’s face, and suddenly he’s staring at Jacen with an almost curious expression. 

But before he can ask the only question that matters, Jacen speaks up. “...Daddy?”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kanan and Jacen have met, and Hera and Kanan really need to talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was super excited about this fic so I wrote two chapters real fast. I love these two so much, that is all. They deserve the world.

Kanan looks like he’s about to pass out. His mouth is open, and he’s staring at Jacen with something akin to awe. But Hera can see him shaking, too. Jacen is looking at him with a tiny smile on his face, and it’s achingly familiar to the way he smiled when he saw Kanan’s picture on Lothal for the first time. 

For a few minutes the two of them just stare at each other, and time seems frozen. Then, When Hera sees Kanan starting to turn slightly green, she changes tactics. He looks more overwhelmed than she’s ever seen him, and she has to get him out of here so they can really talk. She puts a hand on Jacen’s shoulder, turning him to face her. “Hey, sweetheart. How about you go and play with Aunt Sabine for a little while?” Jacen perks up immediately, his smile getting even bigger. It’s been a while since he’s gotten to spend some time with Sabine. “Your–” she swallows, glancing up at Kanan, who still looks on the verge of hyperventilating. “Your father and I need to talk.”

“C’mon, kiddo,” Sabine says, appearing next to Hera a moment later. “I bet we can find something fun to do around here for a little while. This is Uncle Ezra- he’s going to play with us, okay?” Hera notices the way Ezra smiles as Sabine talks, and it warms her heart. She spent a long time imagining how well Ezra and Jacen would get along.

Sabine grabs Jacen’s hand as Hera ruffles his hair. Hera’s still eyeing Kanan warily, but she has the presence of mind to yell after Sabine as they start to walk away. “No explosives or weapons! I _will_ find out!” Kanan chuckles softly, even though he still looks uneasy. 

“No promises!” Sabine yells back, though Hera can hear the joke in her voice. Still, she sighs. The last time Sabine watched Jacen on base, she didn’t hear the end of it for a week. 

When they’re safely out of earshot, Hera turns back to Kanan. He’s watching the three of them walk away, and he still looks a little green. There’s sadness in his eyes too, and it makes her ache to hold him again. 

“Kanan?” she murmurs, putting a hand on his shoulder. He glances up at her in surprise, like he’s coming out of a daze. She can’t really blame him.

Hera stands up, grabbing Kanan’s hand and pulling him to his feet after her. She notices his legs aren’t particularly steady, but whether from kneeling for so long or from all the emotion, she isn’t sure. “C’mon, love.” She notices him relax slightly when she calls him that, so she says it again. “Let’s go somewhere quiet.” She starts pulling him towards the _Ghost_ , towards familiar surroundings where he’ll hopefully be able to breathe a bit. It must be a lot for him to take in, being back from the dead and thrust into a brave new world, but part of her is nervous. They never talked about children before, and part of her worries about what he’ll say now that he’s met Jacen. _Will he be upset? Will he even want to be a father? Is this even a good time to_ have _this conversation?_ It’s not like there’s a manual for how to deal with your partner miraculously coming back from the dead. She tries to banish the anxious thoughts from her mind, but her stomach is churning anyways.

Hera’s still holding his hand as they make their way onto the _Ghost._ She swipes her thumb reassuringly across the back of it as she tells Chopper to go make sure the kids stay out of trouble. When she closes the ramp of the ship, she feels Kanan relax even more. He’s staring at the _Ghost_ like he’s memorizing it, and she knows he’s thinking about all that time he spent learning to feel his way around the ship after he was blinded. 

She guides him to her cabin, still holding his hand. They’re silent the whole time, Hera not quite knowing what to say and Kanan deep in thought. She notices he’s keeping a short distance between them, and even though she wants desperately to close it, she’s worried about disrupting whatever fragile equilibrium they have. Part of her is still in shock that he’s here with her, and when the door to her bunk closes behind them, it really starts to sink in that he’s _back._ She’s worried, apprehensive as she guides him over to her bed, but they have uninterrupted time together. They have the whole rest of their lives. 

Kanan’s face is tilted towards the floor, and he looks almost sad. He still keeps some distance between them as he sits down, almost like he’s worried about coming too close and scaring her away. He’s trying to give her space, but space is so far from what she wants right now that she wants to laugh. It’s a little awkward, the way they’re dancing around each other, but she spent so long without him that any more distance is unacceptable. She scoots closer, twining one hand with his and squeezing it. She gets right up in his space, trying to let him know without words that he doesn’t need to stay away. Her other hand gently pulls his hair free from the tie and starts running her fingers through it. His eyes slide shut as he squeezes her hand right back. He’s always liked it when she plays with his hair, and Hera’s missed doing it terribly since Lothal. There were times he used to almost start purring under her hands, in the past. 

It’s another few moments before Hera breaks the silence. “Are you okay?” She has so much to ask him, and her own feelings are a mess, but she knows he needs a steady presence right now. Keep things simple, to start out. They have time.

He’s silent for a beat, and then he sighs. “What’s his name?” His voice is impossibly soft. 

“Jacen.” She squeezes his hand again, takes a breath, and then continues. “Jacen Caleb Syndulla… Jarrus.” 

He tightens his grip on her hand and stiffens in surprise, glancing up to look her in the eye. He still looks sad, anguished even, but there’s a kind of awestruck joy there too. His eyes are shining. “Caleb.” It’s not a question, but it is. She can see the swirl of emotion in his eyes as he says it, and she nods slowly. She sees him swallow, his throat working before he speaks again. “He’s beautiful.” His voice is heavy with everything she knows he must be feeling.

Hera smiles, her heart swelling even as her concern for Kanan grows. “He is.” She chuckles softly. “He has your eyes and my stubborn streak.” She’s trying to lighten the mood, but she sees his face fall again, and a stray tear leaks out. 

Now she’s really worried. “Kanan?” _Maybe he doesn’t want this after all._ He’s silent for a minute or two. “Love, say something.” It’s the first time she can remember that she can’t tell what he’s thinking. 

He sighs again. “Why didn’t you tell me, Hera?”

 _Oh._ “I… I didn’t find out until after you–after the fuel pod.” She still can’t bring herself to say the words out loud. “I would have told you, if I’d known,” she assures him, her hand still running through his hair.

“I’m sorry,” he murmurs, and there’s so much pain lacing his voice that it makes her frown too. He seems to shift away from her again, and she chases after him.

“For what? You couldn’t have known.” She’s trying to soothe whatever storm is raging inside his head.

“I–we never talked about kids.” His voice is low. “And I left you to raise him on your own. I can’t imagine what that must have been like, raising a baby in a warzone all by yourself.” 

She stares at him incredulously. He sounds so _guilty_ ; half of her wants to laugh and the other half wants to cry again. Because it’s the most ridiculous, sweet, stupid, utterly _Kanan_ thing in the world to apologize to her for something he had absolutely no control over. The familiarity of it all is quieting her own inner turmoil slightly. He’s feeling guilty over something he didn’t even _know about_ , and against her better judgement, she chuckles softly. 

Kanan glances up at her in surprise. “You’re _laughing_ at me?”

Hera smiles at him, squeezing his hand again and trying to tell him everything she’s feeling without using words. She knows he can probably sense all her emotions, but she wants him to know that the strongest among them is sheer joy at having him here. “Now I know you’re really back. You wouldn’t be you if you weren’t beating yourself up for something you couldn’t control, love.” She kisses him on the cheek lightly, and even though he still looks sad, he laughs too. 

“It was hard, but I wasn’t alone. The Rebellion helped raise him, too. And I never blamed you. I _missed_ you. Jacen missed you too.”

Kanan reaches over to wrap an arm around her, then seems to think better of it and pulls back. He’s still trying to give her space. She catches his wrist before he can, though, draping his arm over her shoulders herself. Kanan smiles, and she feels the tension in his body ease, somewhat. “I missed you,” he whispers, and she can hear the warmth in his voice. “But how does he–how does Jacen know who I am?”

“Sabine painted a mural on Lothal, with all of us on it. I’ll have to take you and Ezra to see it sometime.” Now that he can actually _see_ again. It’s still unnerving to see him staring at her with those brilliant blue eyes. She never cared about his blindness, not ever, but she saw how much it hurt him, not being able to see the world around him. But she has missed his eyes, and being able to read his every emotion in them again was exhilarating. And there’s a whole galaxy of things she can show him, now. “And Chopper showed him a lot of old recordings of you.”

Kanan nods, and she can see the gears turning in his head again. She tightens her grip on his hand where it’s still twined with hers. “This is a lot to take in,” he says finally. _That’s an understatement._ She can see just how much he’s struggling to process everything all at once, but he also looks unbelievably happy in this moment and all her anxiety about whether Kanan would even want Jacen melts away. “I–we have a _son_.” His smile is covering his whole face again, and Hera can’t help but lean in to kiss him when she sees it. 

When she pulls away, leaning her forehead against his, he’s still smiling. “I want to get to know him. I wanna be a part of his life,” he says seriously. “If… if that’s okay?”

He’s nervous, asking permission instead of assuming, and the simple acknowledgement of how weird this situation is for everyone involved relaxes her slightly. Still, she needs him to know that he _never_ has to ask. She’s not going anywhere without him, ever again, and Jacen needs his dad. “Of course it’s okay. You don’t have to ask.”

Kanan smiles wider, but then his brow furrows. “I don’t know the first thing about how to do this. How do we do this?” She can hear the excitement in his voice, but there’s also apprehension there. 

Hera laughs again. “We’ll figure it all out, love. We’ve got plenty of time–we can take it slow.” She kisses his lips again. Because they _do._ Finally, they have all the time in the world. There’s no more Empire to make their lives hell, and now that she has him back, she’s never letting him out of her sight again. “You’re going to be a really great dad,” she says warmly, and she feels the conviction in her very bones. She knows he must be able to sense it from the way he flushes pink.

“I hope so.”

“I know you will. Besides, you managed just fine with Ezra, back in the day.” He flushes a deeper shade of pink.

“That was different. What if I screw this up?”

“You won’t. We’ll figure it out. We always do.”

Then he pulls her closer and leans his head onto her shoulder, his hesitation forgotten for the moment. He lets out a small sound when her hand finds its way back into his hair, running through the soft strands slowly. She’s still re-learning what it feels like. “I _really_ missed you.” It’s muffled by her shoulder, but she still hears it clearly. “I know it was longer for you than for me, but I did.” He tightens his arms around her waist. She can feel his heart pounding, and she leans her cheek against the top of his head. 

“I love you, Kanan.” Saying it is as easy as breathing now. Hera spent so much time whispering it to an empty room, and now that he’s here, she never wants to stop telling him. “I’m really happy you’re back.” It’s an understatement if there ever is one, but it’s true nonetheless. She’s still feeling a little awkward, but she doesn’t think there’s a word to encompass all the joy she’s feeling, too. 

“Love you too.” He burrows further into her neck. For a moment he just stays there, breathing slowly and deeply in a cadence he used to use when he was trying to calm himself down. Good to know some things haven’t changed. She can’t really blame him; she probably would have fainted a long time ago if she were in his shoes.

A few minutes later he lifts his head, catching her face in his hands and bringing it close to his. “I still can’t believe I can _see you_ ,” he whispers, and there’s such pure and utter reverence in his voice that she feels her eyes watering again. “I don’t know how it happened, and getting used to having my sight again has been a lot.” He pauses, chewing his bottom lip between his teeth before continuing. “I saw you that night, on the fuel pod. You were beautiful.” He presses his lips to hers in a feather-light kiss. “You’re still beautiful.” Then he kisses her again. It’s slow, lazy, and exploratory, like he’s trying to re-learn her mouth to make up for the time they spent apart. But she can feel the trepidation in his movements and the way he gives her room to pull away. And she almost laughs as she pulls him closer and kisses him back, because if there was one thing Kanan Jarrus had always known, it was how to play her body like a fine-tuned instrument. She never wants him to stop. 

After a few minutes, they break apart, but his hands are still framing her face. There’s tears in his eyes that mirror her own. He opens his mouth to speak, and then he freezes, staring at a spot behind her head as his eyes widen. 

“Kanan?” She turns, trying to see what he’s looking at, and she notices the kalikori on the mantle behind her. _Ah._ She swallows, disentangling herself from his embrace and crossing the room to grab it. He takes it from her wordlessly as she sits back down next to him, and his thumb runs over the piece of his holocron that’s fixed to the wood. When he looks up at her a moment later, there are even more tears in his eyes. 

She rests a hand on his shoulder as he swallows thickly. “You–you put me on your kalikori?” There’s pure disbelief in his voice, and it makes her insides clench. She doesn’t know how he can still doubt what he means to her, but she’ll make sure to tell him every day from now on, until he really believes it.

“Of course I did.” Her voice is soft, barely above a whisper. “You were–you _are_ my partner, Kanan. In every way. There’s no one else that I’d put there. _Ever_.” She squeezes his shoulder for good measure. 

He flushes red again, but his smile is back, and she’s never going to get tired of seeing it. For a moment he just grins at her, and then his face falls as he grabs her hand again. “I’m sorry I was gone for so long,” he mumbles. Hera tenses, but she waits for him to finish, sensing that he has more to say. “I don’t regret it... I’d do it again in a heartbeat, to keep you all safe. But I’m sorry I hurt you. I _never_ wanted to hurt you.” And from the way he looks at her, she knows he can probably sense how deeply the wound from losing him goes, and she knows he’ll never stop feeling guilty for that. He always hated it when she was in pain, and there’s a deep ache in her chest as she watches his face. _Stars,_ what can she possibly say to him to make that look go away?

“Don’t, love,” she murmurs. “You didn’t hurt me. Thrawn and Pryce hurt me. They took you away from all of us. The Empire hurt both of us, but it’s in the past. They’re gone. I’m just glad that the Force gave us one more miracle. Okay?” She put an edge of her commander’s tone into her voice to make it clear that she wasn’t in the mood for him to argue. She hopes it’s enough to quell his anxiety.

Kanan smiles, but it’s a little smaller this time. “Me too.” 

Hera gently grabs the kalikori from him and sets it on the shelf next to her bed. Then she takes Kanan’s hand again, pressing her lips against his forehead. “How are you feeling?” she asks, mindful of how much he’s had to absorb in such a short time. 

He grimaces. “Honestly, I’m kind of exhausted. I’m so _happy,_ but today has been… a lot to process.”

Hera nods. “I know. We can take things slow, alright? We’re going to need a bit of an adjustment period.”

He looks at her with a panicked expression, and she realizes how bad that must sound. “ _Hey_ , not like that. We’re okay, I promise. Don’t worry about that.” She sees the tension drain from him, and she waits a moment until she can see that he’s fully relaxed. “I just mean that things are different. It’s going to take some getting used to.”

Kanan nods. “Yeah. Yeah, I–can we just, I don’t know, lay down and sleep for a little while? I know you need to make sure Sabine and Ezra keep Jacen away from anything explosive, but–” He rubs the back of his neck, and he looks nervous again. “I missed just… being next to you,” he mumbles sheepishly.

Her heart swells at how hopeful he looks and how deeply he’s blushing. Part of her is still worried about how much he’s tiptoeing around her, but she supposes it’s understandable. A lot has changed in four years, and he’s probably trying to figure out if _she’s_ changed too. 

But the one thing that’s never changed is how she feels about him, and she’ll keep reminding him of that. “Yeah, of course. Let me comm Sabine and let her know.” Then she smiles at him. “But, you mean _we_ need to go get Jacen. _Our_ son.” He’s still being careful, but Jacen is his just as much as hers.

Kanan laughs as he pulls her down to lie next to him. “Yeah. Our son.” He still sounds like he can’t quite believe it. 

It takes a few moments to arrange themselves; Hera’s forgotten what it feels like to have another body in her bed, and it takes a bit before they find a comfortable position. Kanan’s head winds up resting on Hera’s chest, one arm slung around her waist and his hand twined with hers. Hera’s fingers are carding through his hair as she comms Sabine. She lets her know that they’ll meet them by the command center in 2 hours, and then she pulls the blanket over both of them as she feels Kanan’s breathing start to even out. He really must be tired.

“Love you,” he mumbles, squeezing her hand. She suspects that he likes saying it just as much as she does, and it warms her heart. 

“Love you.” She presses her lips to the top of his head. “But I’m waking you up in a couple hours,” she says, a warning in her voice.

Kanan chuckles. “10-4, Captain.” 

She almost corrects him. She almost tells him, _it’s General now,_ on instinct, but she doesn’t. Because it’s been _so long_ since she’s heard Kanan call her Captain that she’s busy trying to commit the sound to memory.

And she has all the time in the world to correct him later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm giving you two chapters in quick succession, since school is starting up again and idk when the next update will be! <3


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kanan and Jacen are properly introduced.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love this chapter with my whole hecking heart. I cried a LOT while I was writing it. I hope you like it!! (Everything here is still rated G)
> 
> Also, I have no idea if this is how four year olds talk, but let’s all pretend like it is.

Hera comes awake slowly, unsure of what woke her until she reaches for the chrono next to her bed. She finds it clumsily, then frowns as she glances around. She’s not in her quarters on base. She’s on the  _ Ghost. _ Why is she on the  _ Ghost? _ Then she stiffens as she hears a low groan from beside her and registers an arm slung around her waist. 

Kanan Jarrus is in her bed, snoring softly as his head rests on her shoulder. She sighs. She’s dreaming again. Of course she is. She’s had this dream before, countless times. She’d wake up to Kanan, to his lazy smile and his scorching kisses, and then her real alarm would ring and she would jolt awake. She’d reach for him, only to be met with cold sheets and an empty bed. This is normal.

Except something’s different now. His weight on her is solid, firm and heavy. He smells exactly like he always used to; she was never able to truly replicate that mix of leather and smoke and safety that was uniquely his. 

And he doesn’t usually snore in her dreams. 

Then the events of the day come flooding back to her in one startling moment of clarity. Sabine coming back, Ezra smiling at her, and Kanan sweeping her into the hug she spent years imagining. She gasps as she stares at him, remembering that he’s  _ back,  _ that this isn’t a dream. They’re going to go and pick up their son, and he’s going to finally meet his dad. 

Hera smiles widely and brushes a stray hair out of his face. He looks so peaceful like this, open and happy the way he always used to. He stirs awake when she lightly presses her lips against his forehead, blinking up at her in surprise and swiping his thumb against her side. His brow furrows slightly as he registers the beeping of the chrono, but his eyes are fixed to hers, and his smile is lighting up his whole face. 

She runs a hand through his hair again. “Today wasn’t a dream,” she says. There’s a slight question in her voice, but there’s so much awe there too. It’s still so surreal.

“It’s not a dream. We’re really here.” His voice is hoarse–another detail her brain was never able to get quite right–and his voice is full of wonder too. 

“ _ You’re _ here.” He’s here and he’s smiling at her the way he always used to, and she feels affection surging through her as his hand runs lightly across her stomach. She reaches to shut off the chrono, quickly glancing at the time before leaning down to kiss him. She thanks the Force that she had the foresight to set the alarm a few minutes early. 

Kanan melts into it, the arm that was resting along her stomach coming up to rest on the side of her face. It’s slow at first, a lazy caress as she explores his mouth with hers. But then the desperation and  _ want _ kick in, and she nips at his bottom lip. He groans, but she can feel him hesitating. She knows he doesn’t want to push her, but she spent so long thinking about having him back in her bed that pure instinct is taking over. She rolls over so that half of her body is on top of his, kissing him harder as her hand snakes under his shirt to find his bare skin. His hands move down to grip her waist, but she can feel the sudden tension in his shoulders.

“This isn’t too much?” The words are a whisper against her lips, before he starts kissing down her jaw. She can hear the breathy tone to his voice, and really, this whole “trying to stay away from her” schtick he’s got going on needs to stop. 

Hera shakes her head emphatically. “I love you,” she murmurs as her hand comes to rest on his chest. “I  _ missed you _ .” She tightens her grip on his hair for good measure, and the small sound he makes goes right to her core. But then she glances at the time and sighs. “But as much as I want to keep you here all day, we really do need to get up, love. Rain check.”

He pouts, and it’s an utterly adorable expression that she missed terribly. “I’ll hold you to that, Captain,” he mumbles. 

She can’t help but kiss him again, and she  _ does _ correct him, this time. “It’s General now, actually.”

His eyebrows shoot up. “General?” Hera nods and she can see a flicker of sadness in his eyes that hides behind his smile. “Should have known. You’re too good to stay Captain forever.” 

“They promoted me right before we attacked Lothal–I guess I never got a chance to tell you. They only did it so they could keep me on the ground,” she smirks. 

“I’m proud of you,” Kanan says in a low voice. He kisses her softly, and she knows that part of him is thinking about what else he’s missed. 

“Thank you, love.” She pecks his lips once more, then regretfully rolls over. “But we really have to go and meet the kids.” She gives him a look though, and she knows he can see the sparkle in her eyes and the promise that means  _ later, lover.  _ He smirks at her, then his brow furrows.

“Right. Meet Jacen.” And suddenly he’s tense again. She can see it as he stands up, pulling her to her feet after him. 

“Hey,” she says, grabbing his hand as they exit her cabin. “He already loves you. It’s gonna be okay. And we can take things slow.”

Kanan sighs. He’s silent for a moment as they make their way to the cargo hold, and he doesn’t speak again until Hera keys the code to extend the exit ramp. “What if it’s not okay?”

“Stop worrying, love. Just be yourself.” When he raises an eyebrow at her, she laughs, then amends. “Be yourself, but within reason.” She rubs his arm as they start making their way towards the command center. “Just take some deep breaths. It’ll be fine.” She kisses him on the cheek, trying to calm whatever thoughts are raging in his head. She thinks back to how much Jacen laughed whenever he watched one of Chopper’s old recordings of Kanan, and she can’t help but smile. Jacen talks about his father all the time, and she knows they’re going to get along famously. 

She squeezes Kanan’s hand for good measure, and hopes he believes it too.

* * *

Kanan’s Jedi past has prepared him for a lot of things in life. It taught him how to deal with pent-up emotions, how to fight his way out of almost any situation, and how to trust in something outside of himself.

But it never prepared him for this. It never prepared him to come back from the dead four years late. And it  _ certainly  _ never prepared him for meeting his son for the first time. 

He’s trying to take deep breaths as they make their way towards the command center. Hera’s hand is in his, and part of him is still thrumming with joy at actually being with her again. But the bigger part is just nervous, almost embarrassingly so. He never expected that he’d ever be a father, and he’s trying desperately to slow his breathing. He’s falling back into a meditative rhythm, trying to silence all the thoughts running through his head. 

_ What do I say to him? What if he doesn’t like me? What if he doesn’t want me around? Will Hera still let me stay? Where would I even go if she kicks me out?  _ The thoughts are bouncing around his brain, ricocheting a mile a minute. He’s got a death grip on Hera’s hand, but she doesn’t complain. Every so often she squeezes his hand or rubs a thumb across the back of it. It’s soothing; her presence was always soothing, but the simple acknowledgement that they’re taking this step together makes him feel a little warmer. 

It’s still unreal, being back with her, being able to touch her and hear her voice and  _ see  _ her again. He spent weeks in a bacta tank in wild space, wondering if he would ever get to be near her. His lips still tingle where she kissed him, and the wonder in her eyes when she saw him standing on the  _ Ghost _ is burned into his memory. They have so much lost time to make up for.

Much too quickly, they make it to the command center. Kanan can spot the bright blue of Sabine’s hair a mile away. He made it a point to tease her about it, when she found them, and he smiles softly as he remembers the look on her face. He thought she was going to cry when she realized he could see it.

The blue is a stark contrast next to Jacen’s bright green. He’s sitting between Ezra and Sabine, pouting slightly as he picks at the grass. Kanan can’t help but smile, and there’s a funny feeling in his chest as he stares at Jacen. 

_ My son.  _ Our _ son.  _ The thoughts make butterflies erupt in his stomach, but they’re followed by panic.  _ Oh kriffing hells, I’m not ready for this. _

Hera’s watching him again.  _ Breathe, love _ , her eyes seem to say. He’s doing his best, but he can feel his heart pounding.

Sabine and Ezra see them coming before Jacen does. Ezra waves at them, and Sabine smiles, before tapping Jacen on the shoulder. The boy sees them and perks right up, jumping to his feet and running towards Hera. Kanan hangs back, letting go of her hand as she meets Jacen in the middle. Hera kneels down as Jacen wraps her in a hug, and Kanan can’t help but smile when he sees it. Sabine and Ezra are still watching them, and Kanan can feel Ezra sending him small prods of support through the Force.  _ Breathe.  _

“Hey, sweetheart!” Hera sounds so excited, and as nervous as he is, his smile grows. “Did you have fun with Aunt Sabine?”  
“She let me watch the ships fly! And Uncle Ezra showed me a magic trick!” 

Kanan raises an eyebrow at Ezra, and out of the corner of his eye, he sees Hera do the same. “ _ Did _ he now?” Hera says. “What kind of a magic trick?” 

“He made the rock fly!”

Kanan chuckles, and it makes Jacen’s eyes flick over to him. His smile only gets bigger, and Kanan couldn’t help but wonder if Ezra and Sabine had already told the kid about him before they got here. Hera’s head swivels to smile at him briefly, before turning back to Jacen.  _ Now or never. _

“Hey, baby, there’s someone here I want you to meet, okay?” Hera lets go of Jacen, stepping to the side and jerking her head at Kanan to come closer. Jacen is watching him expectantly, that bright, happy smile still lighting up his face. Kanan gulps. 

“Hi.” It’s about all he can manage, and it comes out hoarse. He clears his throat, before stepping closer and settling on his knees in front of Jacen. “Hi, kiddo. My name’s Kanan.”  _ I’m your father. _

Jacen laughs. It’s small and bubbly and Kanan suddenly never wants to stop hearing it. “I know you!”

Kanan glances up at Hera, who nods her head in encouragement. “Yeah! Mommy and Aunt Sabine and Chopper talk about you lots. You’re my daddy!” Jacen’s still smiling.

Kanan fights the sudden nerves that are making his stomach churn. He can see Ezra and Sabine walking towards them, and he feels Ezra still sending encouraging prods at his senses. He takes a deep breath. “Yeah. Yeah, Jacen, I’m your daddy. It’s nice to meet you.”

Jacen steps closer to him, reaching out a small hand and grabbing Kanan’s larger one. His breath hitches for a moment, and then Jacen reaches for his other hand, dragging both of them up to the sides of his face. It feels so  _ small _ in his larger hands, and for a moment Kanan doesn’t dare breathe. He looks frantically at Hera, feeling out of his depth, but she’s at a loss too–just staring at them both with a curious expression. Finally Kanan clears his throat. 

“Uh–hey, kiddo, what are you doing?” Jacen’s moving his hands to trace his face, and he’s studying Kanan with a curious expression. 

“Mommy said you can’t see,” Jacen says, and his voice is a little softer this time. 

Kanan swallows down the sudden lump in his throat, and his heart swells with sudden emotion. His mouth opens, but he doesn’t quite have the words; he can’t do anything but watch this little boy, his own flesh and blood, trying to accommodate him even though they’ve only just met. 

“I–I couldn’t, before.” He twists his hands slightly, grabbing Jacen’s smaller ones. “But I can see now.”

Jacen smiles again. “Your eyes look different. They were all white in the pictures.”

Kanan laughs. “There was–” He’s trying to find the words, trying to figure out how much to tell him and what would make sense to a four year old. It’s not unlike when he was trying to teach Ezra about the Force, and he almost laughs. “Something happened to me, back when your Mom and I were flying the Ghost, and I couldn’t see anymore. Did she tell you about that?” Jacen nods. “Well, something else happened, and my eyes are back to normal now. I can see fine. Your hair’s so bright–it matches my shirt, see?” He touches his own chest, and Jacen nods brightly again. 

Kanan’s never been good at talking to kids. He could never seem to make them like him, no matter how hard he tried. Hera was always good at making kids smile; she always seemed to be able to say exactly the right thing, like it was effortless for her. But now, Jacen’s smiling at him like he hung every moon in the galaxy, and it’s becoming really hard to ignore the growing lump in his throat and the tears in his eyes. 

For a moment, Jacen’s just staring at him, then he frowns. “Mommy said you had to go away. She said you went away to save us.”

“I…”  _ Oh, kriff.  _ He isn’t prepared for  _ that _ question. He looks at Hera helplessly again, but she’s watching them both with a hand over her mouth, and he notices that she’s smiling. Ezra and Sabine are standing next to her, both admiring the scene in front of them with matching grins. Kanan sighs. He’s on his own, then. No problem. 

The lump in his throat is almost insurmountable now, but somehow he finds his voice. “I did. I’m sorry. I was protecting your Mom, and Aunt Sabine, and Uncle Ezra, and Uncle Zeb. Even Chopper.” Then he smirks, hiding his mouth from Hera conspiratorially and whispering, “I never liked Chopper much. Don’t tell your mom.” He’s rewarded with another small giggle. “But I’m back now. And I… I wanna stay here with you and your mom. Is that okay?”

Kanan doesn’t get an answer for a moment or two, and his heart drops right down to the pit of his stomach. The suspense is killing him, and he’s just about to lose it completely when Jacen suddenly comes closer and wraps his arms around his waist. He nods his head where it rests against Kanan’s chest 

Kanan freezes, staring down at Jacen in utter shock, before his brain recovers enough to hug him back. One hand comes to rest on the back of his head, and the other rubs up and down his back. Jacen’s arms don’t reach all the way around Kanan, and his hands fist in his sweater instead. He loses the battle against his watering eyes, and a few stray tears leak out as he rests his chin on the top of Jacen’s head. It’s like a part of him he didn’t even know was missing is finally complete.

He looks over at Hera, smiling so wide it  _ hurts _ , and he sees tears in her eyes and a matching grin. All three of them are watching the scene in front of them; Hera’s crying, Sabine’s laughing, and Ezra’s just staring, his eyes and the Force around him telling him everything his face isn’t.  _ Welcome home, Master. _

And that’s when he feels it. Just the slightest prickle at the edge of his awareness, the smallest connection extending from Jacen to him. It’s barely-there, but he feels it nonetheless, and he practically stops breathing when he realizes what that means. He can  _ feel _ Jacen, feel the small ball of energy and light right at the heart of him. It’s achingly similar to the way Hera feels, all light and hope and love for the galaxy that makes even more tears fall down Kanan’s face. Kanan’s eyes flick over to Ezra briefly, and when he nods, Kanan knows that Ezra feels it too.  _ He’s like me. He’s like me, and I can teach him.  _

That thought would have scared him, a long time ago. It  _ did _ scare him, back when they first bumped into Ezra on Lothal and he realized what the galaxy was asking him to do. But now… now he’s just  _ happy.  _ Happy and excited and in awe of his Force-sensitive son. 

Eventually, Jacen lets go of him, and the little boy’s smile is still lighting up his face. Kanan wipes at the stray tears that are trailing down his face. He’s cried so much today that eventually he’s going to run out of tears. But Jacen is practically bouncing up and down in front of him. 

“Uncle Ezra says you can do magic too!” 

Kanan laughs. “Yeah, I can. Do you wanna see some?” 

Jacen nods. “Uh-huh!” 

“Alright. Let’s ask your mom if it’s okay, first.” He’s still nervous about assuming too much, but one look at Hera’s face and he can see everything she’s feeling. She’s  _ beyond _ happy; he hasn’t seen that smile on her face since it was just the two of them on the  _ Ghost _ . It’s almost intoxicating, and his smirk turns mischievous when she nods emphatically at him. 

“Alright, kiddo, just sit down and stay still, okay?” Kanan stands up, brushing the dirt off of his knees. “Close your eyes.” Then, he stops to think for a moment, before lowering his voice. “Try to keep your mind clear, alright? Focus on how you feel right now. Try to…” He’s trying to remember his old lessons from his Temple days, but it’s so long ago now that he’s winging it. “Try to focus on listening. Listen to everything that’s around us, and let your thoughts wander. Can you do that for me?” 

“Mhm!” He sounds so excited, and Kanan smirks. Master Yoda would see through him in a heartbeat. Still, Jacen sits, closing his eyes and waiting expectantly. 

“Alright, are you ready? Remember what I told you. Take really slow breaths.” Surprisingly, Jacen does, his chest rising and falling in a slower rhythm. Kanan wonders if Chopper played him any old recordings of him teaching Ezra how to meditate. Kanan shuts his eyes, holding out a hand and feeling that familiar pull at his senses. A moment later he opens them again, and Jacen is hovering in midair, about a foot and a half above the ground. He’s still concentrating, but Jacen isn’t hard to move, and he says. “You can open your eyes now.”

Jacen does, and gasps with surprise as he sees how high up he is. He meets Kanan’s eyes with his own slightly frightened ones, and Kanan holds up his other hand. “It’s okay! It’s alright, I’ve got you. Just keep taking deep breaths. You’re not going to fall. Can you feel anything?”

He shakes his head. Then, as if he realizes something, he says “It feels kinda warm.”

Kanan’s heart soars. That’s the first thing he remembers feeling back at the Temple, too. “That’s  _ great _ , Jacen. Really great. I’m going to put you down now, okay?” 

“Noooo, go higher!” The unadulterated excitement is back in his voice.

Kanan glances at Hera, raising an eyebrow to make sure they’re still okay. She nods again, and he notices that she’s crying even harder now. Kanan flicks his wrist, and Jacen’s body moves a little higher off the ground. For a moment he just lets him hover there, but as he glances around, he notices that they’re starting to attract a crowd. A few of the personnel on base have gathered to watch them.

Suddenly uncomfortable, in a way he can’t really explain, he meets Jacen’s eyes again. “I’m going to put you down now, okay?” He lowers Jacen to the ground, his eyes sliding shut again, and he opens his eyes just as the boy hits the floor. 

Jacen gets up immediately, running over to Hera and bouncing excitedly again. “Mommy, did you see?! Daddy made me fly!”

“I saw!” Hera says, kneeling down to hug Jacen. But then her eyes flick back to Kanan’s face. “Daddy did make you fly.” Kanan hopes his face isn’t as red as it feels.

He jolts when he feels Ezra’s hand on his shoulder. “You didn’t do that when you started training  _ me _ ,” he says with a smirk on his face. 

Kanan knows he’s joking, but he plays along anyway. “You were heavier. And I’m pretty sure you would have hit me if I tried.” That gets a laugh out of him, and he can see Sabine and Hera laughing too. 

And suddenly he’s hit with a wave of contentment, of love so powerful that the force of it almost brings him to his knees. Their little family is together, and there’s no Empire to take them away from each other again. Even Zeb is on his way; Sabine had commed him from the  _ Ghost _ , letting him know to come to the base, but not telling him why. He’ll be here tomorrow, and then the family will really be complete. But for now, Kanan’s just marvelling at how incredibly, inconceivably  _ lucky _ he is that he was able to come back to this. He never thought he would come back at  _ all _ , but the Force, and Ezra, decided to give him one more chance, and he’s utterly, immensely grateful for it. 

Hera’s still looking at him from where she’s crouched in front of Jacen, and he knows she can tell everything he’s thinking. Even now, it’s uncanny, having someone who knows him so well that she can practically read his mind. Her eyes seem to say,  _ see, I told you he’d love you. _ But underneath it she’s saying  _ I love you, too.  _ He blushes a little bit deeper at that.

The rest of the day passes in a blur, and it’s filled with more joy than Kanan’s felt since he was a boy at the Temple.

It’s already mid-afternoon, and Hera comms the base to let them know she’s taking the rest of her shift off. When Kanan opens his mouth to protest, she just shrugs. “I don’t have much to do today anyway, and this is more important.” But he smirks when she tells them to re-route any messages for her to her home datapad.  _ That’s _ the Hera he knows. 

The five of them make their way to Hera’s quarters on base. They’re modest, for an officer’s quarters, but Kanan wouldn’t expect anything less from her. Hera never liked anything flashy, and her apartment fits her perfectly. 

They don’t do much for the rest of the day. They’re all just chatting, happy to be back together again after so long spent apart. Jacen is on the floor in front of them, playing with his toys and showing some of them to Kanan every so often. Kanan’s got an arm around Hera, and her head is resting on his shoulder. Ezra cooks, with Sabine’s help. He’s gotten a lot better at it in the years he’s been gone, and Kanan doesn’t hesitate to tell him so. Ezra flushes beet red when he does, and it makes him feel a little warmer. Zeb comms while they’re eating, letting Hera know that he’ll be at the base mid-cycle tomorrow. It’s one of the most peaceful, least eventful days Kanan’s had in  _ years _ , and he’s never been happier. 

All too soon, it starts getting late, and Kanan starts getting nervous again when he notices the time. He hasn’t really thought about what would happen when they got to this point. Ezra’s staying with Sabine, in her small cabin on base–there’s not enough room for both of them in Hera’s quarters, and he can see that Sabine’s happy to be spending time with Ezra again. 

Kanan rubs at the back of his neck. “I–I can sleep on the  _ Ghost _ ,” he mumbles. “I don’t know if–”  _ If it’s still weird having me back here.  _ Hera grabs his wrist before he can finish the sentence. 

“Not a chance, love.” There’s a sparkle in her eyes that makes his skin tingle, and she remembers her words from before.  _ Rain check.  _ Okay. 

Sabine glances between the two of them, before crouching down to the floor. “Hey, Jacen. How’d you like to have a sleepover with me and Uncle Ezra tonight? I’ll let you help me with the new painting I’m working on.” 

“Yeah!” Jacen looks up at Hera with a pleading face that Kanan finds utterly adorable. “Mommy, Daddy, can I go, please?” Kanan’s insides involuntarily clench; he’s still not used to Jacen calling him that. He glances at Hera, shrugging.  _ Your call. _ Then he looks over at Sabine, and she has a knowing smirk on her face.  _ Oh.  _ She’s doing this on purpose. 

“Sabine, are you sure that–” Hera stops when she sees the look on Sabine’s face, flushing a dark green. Kanan suspects his own face is red too. “I–yeah, sure, Jacen. As long as you promise to behave for Aunt Sabine.” 

“I promise!” He even crosses his heart. 

“Alright, kiddo, c’mon. We’re burning moonlight,” Sabine says. She, Ezra and Jacen make their way towards the door, and Sabine turns back to wink at Hera and Kanan. “Have fun, you two.” She even flashes them a mock salute. Kanan flushes a deeper red, and he notices Hera blushing deeper too.

And then, suddenly, the kids are gone. The door shuts behind them, and Hera and Kanan are finally alone. Kanan’s whole body is tingling, skin practically singing with nervous excitement. He doesn’t know what’s going to happen now, and he feels weirdly awkward as he stares at Hera. He’s starting to think too much, worrying that they’re out of sync and off-balance and nothing will be like it used to. He opens his mouth to say something, but he’s not even sure what he wants to say.

And then she grounds his every thought to a screeching halt when she hurls herself at him and firmly melds her mouth to his.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will be rated M and spicy!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The kids are gone, and Hera and Kanan finally reconnect.
> 
> *****CHAPTER IS RATED M!!!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the spicy M-rated chapter. For those who don't read NSFW stuff, stop reading when you get to this line: "Kanan chuckles. “You would,” he mutters, leaning in to claim Hera’s lips again." (that's when it starts to get really NSFW). And start again at this line: "They’re both panting, trying to catch their breath."
> 
> I hope you like it! I had a lot of fun writing this chapter :)

Kanan stumbles slightly, his arms involuntarily settling on Hera’s waist to steady them both. But then he relaxes into it, his mouth moving insistently against hers and matching her movements with just as much need. Every dream he had about being back with Hera pales in comparison to how her mouth moves, how solid she is in his arms, and how her hands feel as they twine through his hair and pull the tie loose. He groans, one hand coming up to find the back of her lek and stroke it from root to tip. She lets out a barely-there, needy whimper of his name that sends a rush of heat flooding to his core. Force, he missed having her like this, missed hearing her let out soft pleasure sounds against his skin. He wants more of it. 

He breaks away from her mouth to trail kisses down her jaw, before he finds the spot at the base of her neck that he knows she loves. “Where…?” He doesn’t finish the question, but she must get the point pretty clearly, because she starts pulling him towards the stairs. She hasn’t gotten the chance to give him a proper tour yet, but she drags him towards her bedroom with a single-minded determination that he really missed seeing. The thought of how much he’s missed her makes his shoulders tense slightly, but he tries to banish it when she pulls him into her room and fixes her mouth to his again. 

Hera’s hands roam across his back, before finding their way into his hair as her tongue meets his. She’s relentless, nipping at his bottom lip and pouring everything she’s feeling into the kiss. Kanan can feel it all; her joy and love and excitement is radiating from her in waves. 

“You’re already such a good dad,” she whispers, pulling back for a moment to look him in the eye. Her smile is brighter than kyber. “I knew you would be.”

“I’m just glad it went okay,” Kanan says. They would be having a very different conversation right now if it didn’t. 

“I love you. I’m really happy you’re back.”

“I–” Kanan catches sight of something behind Hera’s head, and he blinks in surprise. “Is that my holocron?”  
Hera flushes a dark green, nodding sheepishly and taking the opportunity to tug him towards her bed. The holocron is resting on the side table, next to a datapad and an empty caf mug. It’s almost exactly the same as her cabin on the _Ghost_. “Wanted it near me,” she murmurs. “It felt like… I don’t know. Keeping it there made me feel like you were close by.” She blushes deeper as she admits it, and Kanan feels his insides clench tightly. He’s never going to stop feeling guilty for hurting her.

“I’m sorry.” He doesn’t really know what else to say to that. “I’m here now. Not going anywhere.”

Hera smiles. “I know.” 

She sits down on her bed and pulls him with her, and it’s only a moment before their lips fuse together again. He’s trying not to move too fast, still tense with nerves that he can’t really explain, and wanting to go at her pace, as ever. But she grabs his hand, moving it to the buttons of the shirt she’s wearing. There’s the Captain he remembers, always the assertive one, even when they’re alone. He’s not going to complain. 

But when he starts working at the first button, there’s a subtle hitch in her breathing, and he feels her shoulders stiffen. Her lekku go rigid again, and he can feel a wave of tension permeating the room. She’s nervous. 

“Hera? What’s wrong?” _Are we moving too fast? Did I do something?_

“Nothing. I–it’s stupid. We’re good.” 

_Now_ he’s worried. “You’re nervous.” It’s a question and a statement rolled into one. A signal that he wants to know, but he doesn’t want to push too hard. 

Hera sighs, then lets out a nervous laugh. “The last time we did this, I was five years and one child younger,” she admits. “I’ve gotten a lot of mileage since the last time you’ve seen me naked.” She’s blushing a darker green than he’s ever seen, and he can’t help but stare at her. His surprise is written all over his face.

“Hera Syndulla.” Kanan captures her lips in a soft kiss. “You’ve seen me with a gaping hole in my side. You’ve seen me blackout drunk in the middle of a cantina 10 years after the Jedi fell, and then stumbling home and sobbing like a youngling. And you’re worried about _stretch marks?_ ” He’s trying to make her laugh, and when she smiles against his lips, he knows it worked. He feels her relax, feels the tension slip out of her shoulders and a small chuckle escape her. But her words are beginning to sink in, and the implications of what she said are making his stomach flip. _Five years younger_ …

He was gone for way too long, and part of him thinks he doesn’t deserve to be back. It hurts him that he hurt her, in a way that he never wanted to, but a way that he can never make up for. And he’s always prided himself on being by Hera’s side no matter what–how can he say that now that he left her alone? 

Hera’s smile falls as she notices the look on his face. His shoulders are hunched over, and he knows she can tell that there’s something on his mind.

“Love, what is it?” Hera rests a hand on his shoulder.

Kanan sighs. “It’s– I got yanked out of time,” he mutters, his head bowing low and his forehead leaning against hers. “I got pulled out of the fire on Lothal and it’s only been a few months for me since then. But for you…” He swallows the lump in his throat before he continues. “It’s been almost _five years._ And I know you said we’re okay. I missed you so much and I _want_ to be okay, but I’m just thinking about everything that I’ve missed and... I don’t know. I’m just worried that things have changed. That you’ve changed and I’m the same.” He sighs again. “I don’t mean physically–you know I never cared about that. But… you’re _older_ than me now.”

Hera laughs in surprise. “I guess I am.” He opens his eyes to look at her, worried about what he might see there, but the only thing he can see on her face is warmth. “Of course things have changed,” she says in a low murmur. He opens his eyes, and she can probably see the pain there because she pecks his lips softly. “I had a baby and fought a war. I helped topple an Empire and establish a new government. I ran point on operations for an entire region and flew in battles while heavily pregnant–”

“You _what_?”

“ _But,”_ she whispers. “I still love the rain, my favorite fruit is still meiloorun, and my favorite holo is still that one with the weird green sentient sludge that the Old Republic somehow engineered.” Her hand snakes under his shirt to rest on his lower back. “I still drink Spiran caf with two sugars, I still work on ships when I can’t sleep, and I still _hate_ that spicy Devaronian soup that you like.” That one makes him laugh, a soft chuckle against her mouth as she kisses him again. Her hands are untucking his shirt from his pants. “And I still loved you, every day you were gone. All the time.”

Her eyes are shining now, and Kanan suspects his are too. He can’t help but pull her closer and kiss her again. It’s soft and slow and yielding and it’s lighting a fire deep in his core. But Hera breaks away after only a moment. “You’ll catch up. But some things haven’t changed a bit. _This_ hasn’t changed a bit.” She grabs his hand and softly presses her lips against the back of it. It feels like a promise. “Some things may be different, but you still know me, Kanan. You _see_ me. You’ve always seen me.”

 _You could always see me._ It’s the same thing she said to him while they were undercover on Lothal, but he’s trembling all over as the phrase washes over him. 

“I’m sorry,” he murmurs again. “I love you. I don’t know how to make up for being gone so long.” His voice is heavy with everything he’s feeling, but Hera just smiles.

“Just be here. That’s enough.” She kisses him again for good measure as she gets his shirt free. She’s about to pull it over his head, when Kanan tenses again, grabbing her hand. He suddenly remembers one crucial detail that she needs to know.

“Wait. Just–what you said about mileage. You’re not the only one.” Hera raises an eyebrow at him. “Just… don’t be upset, okay? I’m fine.”

Now Hera looks really worried. “What’s wrong?” There’s a slight tremor in her voice, and he can feel apprehension pouring from her. Kanan takes a deep breath. _My turn to be nervous, I guess._ Then he grabs his shirt and pulls it off in one smooth motion. 

He hears Hera’s sharp intake of breath, and her eyes widen as she takes in his bare chest. There’s a nasty burn covering his left shoulder and trailing down his bicep, and another one on his right side. They were severe enough that the bacta didn’t do its job perfectly, and he’ll carry the scars for the rest of his life. Hera only stares for a moment, and he can see her eyes watering again. He grabs her hand, guiding it onto his shoulder, letting it rest on the scars. She trails her fingertips along the scorched skin. 

“Some of the burns were too deep to heal all the way,” Kanan murmurs as his eyes meet hers. “But I’m okay. I promise. They’re just souvenirs.”

“I…” Hera swallows as she swipes her thumb along the scar. “I’m _really_ glad Pryce is dead. I’m tempted to bring her back and kill her again.” 

Kanan chuckles. “You would,” he mutters, leaning in to claim Hera’s lips again. Her hands wander, exploring the new patterns on his chest and re-learning the familiar ones. He goes back to work on her shirt, fingering the buttons one by one until he finally gets them open and slides the thin material down her shoulders. His hands move to the clasp of her bra as he trails his mouth down her neck, silently waiting for her permission. She lets out a needy sound and nods, and a moment later that falls to the floor too. Kanan’s cupping her bare chest as Hera starts fumbling with his belt, and he can barely think straight with how badly he wants her. The rest of their clothes hit the floor in a hurry, the time spent apart making their movements quick and urgent. 

It isn’t until they’re both fully naked and Hera pulls him on top of her that he really gets a good look at her. She’s _gorgeous_ , and some part of him registers that this is the first time he’s seen her like this since he was blinded. A lump rises in his throat as the thought crosses his mind, and he pulls back to look at her fully. He wants to worship her, to lay everything he has and everything he is at her feet. He’s always done that, always been hopelessly devoted to her, but now he has a desperate desire to commit her body to memory all over again.

Then his eyes trail down her bare chest, and he stops breathing completely.

His mouth opens, and his eyes are suddenly watery. Hera frowns, her face falling as she takes in his expression. She moves one hand to cover her stomach, mistaking the source of his alarm. But any stretch marks or blemishes she might have there don’t even _register_ , because the only thing he can comprehend at this moment is the nasty blaster scar on her shoulder that _definitely_ wasn’t there the last time they did this.

Kanan raises a shaky hand, tracing the scar with the tip of one finger. Hera grimaces when he does, as if she’s only just remembered the scar was there. It’s only a couple inches above her heart, and he feels the tears threatening to spill over. Because the only thing that he can think right now is that someone _hurt her_ , and he wasn’t there to take care of her. 

“I– how…” He’s tripping over his words, and Hera gently rests her hand on his before he can get them out. He can’t stop staring at the scar, and now he’s noticing other marks on her too, other scars that weren’t there before. He would have felt them. 

Hera brings his hand up to rest on her cheek, pressing her lips against his palm. “It was during one of the last battles before the Empire fell,” she whispers. She pulls him closer so he can rest his forehead against hers. “We brought the _Ghost_ in to help evacuate our people. I didn’t see the trooper until it was too late.” 

Kanan sighs, fighting the anger welling up in him. It’s a moment before he speaks. “Is he dead?”

Hera laughs. “Very. I killed him myself.” 

That gets a smile out of him, even though he’s still fighting back tears. “ _That’s_ my girl.”

Hera chuckles again, then kisses him softly. “I’m okay, love.” She punctuates the statement by rocking her hips against his, brushing against where he aches for her. He hisses, and suddenly he’s snapped back into the moment. 

“I know. I just wish I was there.” He doesn’t give her a chance to answer before he kisses her again. He doesn’t want to think about the past, or about Hera bleeding in the middle of a battlefield. He just wants to feel her, to make up for the time they spent apart. Her tongue meets his, and the fire in him that burns so brightly for her starts crescendoing again as he runs a hand across her upper thigh. His hand finds another small scar there. “What’s this?” It’s less pained than his earlier question. 

Unexpectedly, Hera laughs. “That one’s less exciting. I was doing some repairs and managed to fall on top of a soldering iron. Cut myself pretty bad.” Her voice turns breathy at the end of it, as Kanan’s hand dips lower. But then he stops as he takes in another new mark. It halts him in his tracks, because this one isn’t a scar. It’s a marking, a tattoo he’s never seen before, and he looks up at Hera as tears threaten to fall again. He swipes a thumb over the marking as he recognizes the symbol. 

“That’s…”

Hera drags a thumb across his cheek, wiping away a stray tear that leaks out. “The jaig eyes from the mask you wore.”

“Hera…” He nearly cried when he saw she’d put him on the kalikori, but this… this is something else entirely. “You marked your skin for _me?_ ” 

She runs a hand through his hair. “I missed you. You’re such a big part of me, and I don’t know. It felt right.”

Kanan has a dumbstruck look on his face, and it’s a few moments before he finds his voice again. He’s pretty sure she’s just short-circuited his brain entirely. _How,_ how _in the entire kriffing galaxy did I ever get so lucky? What did I ever do to deserve someone like you?_

Hera’s thumb swipes away another stray tear, and it breaks whatever spell he’s under. “ _Force_ , I love you,” he mumbles. “Shoulda said it ages ago. I love you so much. I _need_ you so much.” He’s trailing kisses down her jaw as he says it. 

Hera drags him back up so she can look him in the eye. “You have me, love. You’ve always had me.” 

Kanan’s hand moves from the tattoo to trail further down her side. He runs his hand across the swell of her ass before moving to where she really wants him as she lets out another breathy sigh. His fingers find her core, and he can’t help but let out a low moan at how wet she already is. She moans too, throwing her head back as he explores her. It’s almost like the first time all over again; he pulls back to stare at her, wanting to watch it all. He watches the way her eyes slide shut and her hands fist in the sheets, the way she twitches as his fingers curl _just_ so. He watches the way her eyes fly open to meet his as his thumb finds that one spot that makes her cry out his name. He really missed hearing that sound. 

She pouts when he removes his hand, leaning back on his knees and staring down at her. He’s still _achingly_ hard, but he’s forcing his body to cooperate through sheer stubbornness, because there’s something else he wants to do. Hera looks at him with a raised eyebrow before pulling his face back to hers.  
“Tease,” she murmurs. “Why’d you stop?” 

Kanan laughs, before opening his eyes to meet hers. He’s focused, staring at her intensely as a serious edge creeps into his voice. “We have all night.” He pours every ounce of conviction into his words, and whatever retort Hera had dies. There’s a subtle hitch in her breathing at his tone. “I just wanna _look_ at you.” Look at her, worship her, trace her body with his lips and tongue and show her everything he feels for her. But he doesn’t say that. Instead he claims her mouth again, trying to tell her everything he’s not saying through his kisses. From the way she shudders, and the intense emotion pouring from her as she nods, she seems more than happy with that. 

It’s only a few moments before Kanan starts trailing down her body with his lips. He wasn’t exaggerating; he spends what might be hours like this, exploring every inch of her bright green skin with his mouth and hands and newly restored vision. He traces the old scars and memorizes the new ones, asking her how she came by each one. She tells him all the stories, some small and some life-changing, and with each one Kanan curses the Empire that tore him from her one more time. When he gets further down, towards her stomach, she tenses, but it’s only a moment before he feels her relax again. He traces the marks there with a feather-light touch, whispering over and over how beautiful she is. He says it so much that she blushes again, and he smirks when she does. 

Finally, Hera starts getting impatient as his mouth starts trailing back up her legs. He’s being thorough, leaving no section of skin untouched, but when she can’t take it anymore she grabs his hair and drags his face towards her core. And then he spends another long stretch of time reacquainting himself with this part of her, drawing out breathy moans and gasps as she writhes beneath him. He can’t help but look up to watch her as one of her hand twines with his. This is a sight he’d only ever dreamt of seeing since he returned from Malachor, and the image is seared into his memory like a brand. 

When she comes with two of his fingers inside her and a drawn out whimper of his name, Kanan stares at her with something akin to rapture. The way she moves, the noises she makes, and the intense joy and love radiating from her all combine as she rides it out. And when she smiles at him, spent and shaking and blissed-out on pleasure, it washes over him like pure, brilliant light.

Hera’s still smiling when he surges back up to meet her, hitching one of her legs over his hip as he claims her mouth again. It’s urgent and demanding, and he can feel the waves of _want, more, please_ pouring from her as his hands drag back up her sides. When they find her lekku, stroking from root to tip and tracing the patterns there, she throws her head back, her eyes sliding shut as she lets out a soft _oh_ . He can’t stop staring at her as she does, as she moves a shaky hand to her breast and supplements his movements with her own. And then she moves her hand down between his legs and grips him hard, making him let out a shaky sigh. She’s always known exactly how to make him come undone, and it isn’t long before he lets out a strangled warning. “ _Hera,_ ” he groans. He pulls her hand off of him gently, breathing hard. “Later. Want you.”

“ _Yes_ ,” she says, and it’s the single greatest thing Kanan’s ever heard in his life. But before he can give them both what they want, Hera surprises him again. She was always good at doing that. She rolls them over so that she’s resting on top of him, staring down at him with a soft smile as her hands rest on his chest. 

* * *

The way he’s smiling at her makes Hera want to laugh and cry at the same time. 

It’s the same smile he always used to wear when they were making love, bright and open and without the weight of the galaxy on his shoulders. It’s a smile he’s only ever reserved for her, for when it’s just them and they don’t have to be Jedi Kanan and Captain Hera. It’s a smile she’s missed something _awful_ , and she never wants this moment to end. 

Kanan runs his hands over the tops of her thighs, looking up at her with eager eyes and waiting for her to make the next move. She can read everything he’s thinking in his eyes, the way she always used to before he was blinded. She can’t sense emotions like he can, but the wave of awed reverence seeping from the brilliant blue is enough to make her blush again. It’s still a heady feeling, having him like this after so long without him here, watching him worship her and try his hardest to make up for something he never had to apologize for in the first place. 

She traces the new burn marks that scar his shoulder, and her face falls for a second. The scars are an ugly reminder of a time she’d rather forget, but _somehow_ he’s still alive. He managed to find his way back against impossible odds, and suddenly she’s overcome with a wave of emotion as she leans down to kiss him again. She’s suddenly desperate for him, aching to have him inside her until she forgets about everything that isn’t Kanan. She rocks her hips against his as their lips move, earning a strangled groan from him. She can tell he’s getting impatient from the way he twitches beneath her, and when he opens his eyes she can see the desperation in them. 

Finally, Hera sinks down onto him in one smooth motion, and both of them let out high-pitched moans. Kanan’s eyes are closed, his expression one of pure bliss. She’s trying to capture the look on his face, but her entire world is constricting to the slow-burning pleasure she feels once he’s all the way inside. It’s so intense it’s overwhelming, and every dream she’s ever had about this moment pales in comparison to how he feels. It’s _everything_ , it’s warmth and light and home and _Kanan_ , and she doesn’t know how she survived without him for so long.

“I love you,” she says, because it’s been too long since the last time she told him so. It comes out slightly breathless. 

“Love you.” His is a moan as he starts jerking his hips, just slight twitches as his eyes slide shut again. Hera smirks, before she starts really moving, sliding down onto him over and over again as she lets out another whimper of his name. He’s rocking up to meet her now, driving up into her and hitting spots that make her gasp. His hands are roaming across her body, stroking up her sides and cupping her breasts before one hand dips lower. When his fingers find their target, Hera can’t help but curl forwards, letting out the loudest moan yet as she rides him harder. She’s trying to make this last, trying to draw out the feeling for as long as possible, but one look at the way his eyes are screwed shut tells her that he’s balanced on a knife’s edge too. 

Hera’s trying to hold out, but it’s been _so_ long, and her body is coiled like a spring, and _stars,_ nothing _feels like you do, not even flying_. And it isn’t long at all before she tenses up again, crying out as the pleasure washes over her in waves and she falls forward against Kanan’s chest. It only takes a moment before he follows her, breathing her name into her neck like a prayer as he shudders.

They’re both panting, trying to catch their breath. Kanan’s head is still buried in the crook of her neck, his arms wrapped around her back like a vice. He’s gripping her like he never wants to let go, and Hera’s suddenly reminded of the way he held her during their first time after Malachor. It was the same then, Kanan clinging to her like she was his own personal lifeline, and Hera holding him just as tightly. She loved him so much, even then. 

Now, one of her hands winds its way back into his slightly damp hair as his arms unclench from around her back. He pulls back to look her in the eye, and that bright, happy spark is back in them. She’s missed being able to see what he’s feeling in his eyes. 

Kanan pouts when she drags him to the fresher, but it’s only a few minutes before they’re back in her bed. Hera pulls the blanket over both of them as Kanan settles behind her and his arm winds around her stomach. He’s absent-mindedly tracing the marks there as they fall into a comfortable silence, but Hera finds that she doesn’t mind it. She’s just happy that he’s here. 

Finally, Kanan breaks the silence as his lips find a spot at the base of her neck. “You okay?” 

It’s _achingly_ familiar; he _always_ asked if she was okay after they had sex, and the sameness of it warms her heart. Hera twines her hand with his and turns to face him. She’s met with sleepy blue eyes that are nevertheless still totally focused on her. “Perfect,” she whispers as she pecks his lips.

“Mmm.” He trails a hand across her lek, just a light touch before resting it on her back. She almost laughs. This is familiar too, how sleepy Kanan gets once things wind down. But then he opens his eyes, and there’s a surprising seriousness in them. “So, what’s this mean for us?”

“What do you mean?” He can’t _seriously_ still think she wants him anywhere but right here, can he?

“I mean… You put me on your kalikori. I don’t know much about Twi’lek customs, but doesn’t that mean we’re… you know.” She knows what he’s asking, but he seems to be having trouble getting the words out. 

“Kanan Jarrus. If I didn’t know you better, I’d think you’re asking if we’re married.” 

He laughs. “Yeah. Yeah, I guess I am.” 

_Oh._ That wakes her up. “I’m… not sure. Technically, yes? But you were… gone. So you didn’t have any say in the matter.” She wishes again that there was some sort of guidebook for how to deal with your partner coming back from the dead. “Would you–would you want to be? Married, I mean.” She’s blushing furiously now, because she didn’t expect that he would want to have this conversation so soon. And she doesn’t know _what_ she’ll do if he says no.

“Hera Syndulla. Are you asking me to marry you?” He’s smiling again, mimicking her words with a light chuckle. 

But Hera looks him dead in the eye and repeats his own words back to him. _No more half-measures. You already lost him once._ “Yeah. Yeah, I guess I am.” 

She’s rewarded with another awestruck look. He’s given her a lot of them today, but this one has to be the best by far. He’s holding nothing back, all of his emotions naked and exposed. But it’s only there for a moment before it’s replaced by the biggest grin she’s ever seen on him. 

Kanan brings her face to his, capturing her lips in one of the softest kisses they’ve ever shared. He cradles her face like it’s a priceless treasure, and she can’t help but flush dark green again at the tender moment. But he still hasn’t answered. 

Finally he pulls away. “Of course I will,” he whispers, and Hera let out the breath she didn’t know she was holding. Then he smirks. “We’ve played at being a married couple often enough. It’ll be nice to finally do it for real.” 

She can’t help but laugh, smacking him on the shoulder lightly. “Being fake-married while undercover doesn’t count, you weirdo.” 

Kanan laughs softly, still smiling wider than she’s ever seen, before his face falls. “We’ve done everything back to front,” he says. “If we’re doing this, we should do it properly.”

That surprises her. “Never took you for the type.”

“Jedi love tradition, remember?” he laughs. But she gives him a look that says she sees right through him, and he sighs. “I wasn’t the type, before I met you.” There’s a kind of raw honesty to his words that makes her stop and stare at him. “Never thought I would be. But you gave me home, family… things I never thought I would have. So, yeah. I wanna do this right. When I asked you how you wanted to live your life after the Empire fell, _this_ is what I meant. You and me.”

Now it’s Hera’s turn to let a stray tear fall down her slack-jawed face. Kanan swiped it away with his thumb, before pulling her close. Neither of them say anything, just drawing out the moment and lying together in the dark. She’s so happy she can’t find the words, and she knows he must be able to sense it from the way he tightens his grip on her. 

She’s not sure how long they spend just lying there, her head resting against Kanan’s chest and feeling the steady pounding of his heart. But she feels him smirk against her forehead as his hands start wandering again. One reaches down to cup her bottom while the other trails across her lekku. When she pulls back to look him in the eye, she finds him already smiling at her, a familiar fire in his eyes. 

Hera grins back at him. “Something tells me this will be the last quiet night to ourselves for a little while…”

Kanan gets the hint, his hands moving more insistently as her breath hitches. His grin gets wider. “Then we’d best make use of the time.”

Hera hitches one leg up and around his back. “Oh, I plan to,” she says, as she reaches on hand down between them and wraps it around him. 

“Promises, promises, darling.” Then his mouth fuses to hers again, and they don’t say anything more for a long time. 

They pass the rest of the night wrapped up in each other, and they don’t fall asleep until the late hours of the morning. Hera’s curled tightly against Kanan’s side, and his lips rest against the top of her head. There’s a dull ache between her legs, but she can’t bring herself to care when she’s so drunk on him and the warmth that he’s always brought into her life, even from the beginning. And then she thinks of Jacen, of the smile on his face when he met his father for the first time, and she smiles wider. She tightens her grip on Kanan’s hand where it rests in hers, and finally succumbs to sleep, thoughts of how incredibly lucky she is still running through her head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SPACE MARRIED!!!!!! I love them, your honor. Also, HUGE shout out to everyone who's read/given feedback on this fic so far. I really appreciate all of you.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The rest of the family comes to visit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic is becoming my baby (also my longest fic to date?!?! wild). Thanks to everyone who's stuck around thus far. I promise much more feels are in store for you all!

Hera wakes up first. 

She isn’t sure what woke her, and for a moment she’s caught off guard. Then the memory of the night before catches up with her in one burst, and she can’t help but smile softly.

Kanan’s still asleep, his lips pressed against the top of her head and his chest against her back. His arms are wrapped tightly around her waist, like even in his sleep he’s worried she’s going to fade away if he lets go. She can’t help but turn around to face him, partly because she needs to move, but partly because she _has_ to see his face at this moment. 

He looks more at peace than she’s ever seen him. He always looked the most relaxed when he was asleep, but this time it looks like pure bliss. And suddenly her breath hitches, and she can’t help the tears that come. They fall before she even knows what’s happening. She really thought she was done crying, but clearly her body has other plans. 

It wakes him up, the way she suddenly clings to him, burrowing closer into his warmth. He groans, shifting slightly as he pulls back to look her in the eye. His brow furrows as he blinks at her, still trying to kickstart his brain, but he reaches an arm up to brush away a tear. 

“M’here,” he mumbles, his voice still thick with sleep. And _fuck,_ she really does need to stop crying. If she cries every time she sees him or hears his voice, they’ll never get anything done again. She burrows into his neck again as he rubs her back. “M’righ’ here. Love you.” 

“I know,” Hera says, her own voice hoarse. “It’s nothing, it’s just‒ these are happy tears, don’t worry.” Force knows she spent enough time crying in the years he was gone, so she doesn’t mind crying happy tears now.

Kanan pulls back to look down at her. His hair hangs loose and messy around his face, and Hera can’t help but smile and smooth it out of his eyes. “Good. Wha’ time is it?” he says, brushing away another tear.

“About 5am,” Hera sniffles. “We’ve got a while before we need to be up.”

“Mmm,” Kanan groans, leaning in to press his lips against hers. It’s soft, and it’s only a moment before he pulls away again, smiling at her. His eyes look especially blue in the sunlight. 

Then he frowns, his brow furrowing like he’s deep in thought. He shifts to rest his head on her shoulder, his arms coming around her waist again. 

“Talk to me,” he says. “Tell me about all the things I missed.” His voice is so soft, muffled by her shoulder but filled with so much emotion that it makes her insides clench. 

“Kanan, you don’t–”

“Please? I need to catch up.” He looks up, and his eyes are almost pleading with her. “Tell me about the war, tell me about Jacen, tell me about all the things you did since Lothal… I wanna know everything.” 

Hera’s about to tell him that he _really_ doesn’t, because so much of her life since Lothal has been miserable without him, but he looks so desperate that she finds she doesn’t have it in her to say no to him. So she nods, running her fingers through his hair as she murmurs a soft _okay._

She tells him about the aftermath of Lothal, about pregnancy and the war and the growing battle against the Empire once they found out about their planet-destroying weapon. She tells him about Scarif and feels the way he stiffens when she talks about giving birth only a couple weeks after that battle. And then he freezes completely when she tells him about Alderaan, about the fight to destroy the Death Star and the person who made it happen. 

“Skywalker? You said Skywalker?” Kanan was trembling when she told him about the destruction of Alderaan, but now he’s frozen stiff, looking at her with something akin to awe.

“Yes, why?”

“Holy _shit…_ Skywalker survived?! Anakin Skywalker was a _legend_ during the war… the greatest Jedi we had. Do you know him?” He sounds like a little kid again, and her heart sinks as she shakes her head. 

“It’s not Anakin,” Hera says, and the way he visibly deflates almost breaks her heart. “His name is Luke Skywalker. He’s Leia’s twin brother.” 

“Leia’s brother… but that means… Skywalker had kids?” He’s staring off into space now, and Hera can practically see the gears turning inside his head. 

Hera grabs his hand and squeezes. “I’ll have to introduce you and Ezra sometime. I know Leia will be excited to see you.” 

She keeps going, telling him about the battles after Yavin, about the threat of the second Death Star and the fight to destroy the Emperor, and about some of the bigger missions she and Sabine flew in between. She tells him about Endor, about the aftermath and the fight to round up the remaining loyalists, and about getting shot and struggling to recover. He doesn’t say much while she talks, only interjecting with a murmured word or question occasionally, but he laughs at that. 

“What?” 

“I’m just imagining how grumpy you probably were, being grounded after that.” But there’s a sad edge to his voice, and she can hear the regret that laces it. 

“Oh it was miserable. You would have been so irritated with me. But Jacen liked having mom around a little more.” 

Kanan laughs again, pressing his lips against her shoulder. “Tell me about him?” he asks softly.

“He’s so much like you,” Hera says, pressing her lips against his forehead. She tells him about giving birth and the first few months of Jacen’s life, about running around after him and Poe after they started causing trouble around the base, and about taking him flying on her days off. 

Kanan shifts. “He’s like me… I can sense it. Did you know?” 

She sucks in a breath. She didn’t, not _really_ , but– “I had some suspicions. He seemed… overly perceptive, sometimes.”

“We all are, at that age,” Kanan laughs. But then his face falls again. “I missed so much of his life already…” 

Hera kisses him softly. “Chopper has a lot of old videos you can watch. I think you’ll get a laugh out of some of them.” 

“I’ll have to ask him. So… no more Empire. Who’s running things now?” 

“There’s a new Republic in charge of things. Mon Mothma is overseeing everything for now, but we’re trying not to repeat the old Republic’s mistakes.” 

“That’ll be easy. There were a lot of them,” Kanan mused. “But… you were okay?” He looks at her again, his brow furrowed, and she sees everything he’s not saying right there in his eyes. _I know you’re not telling me everything. Don’t sugarcoat it for my sake._

Hera sighs. She knows that he’s never going to stop beating himself up for being gone, and she knows that whatever she tells him is only going to hurt him more. His eyes are still pleading with her, begging to know as much as possible about the years he missed, but she can’t bring herself to tell him exactly how bad it was while he was gone. 

So, she compromises. “I… not always. I was okay when I kept busy, and eventually it got easier to deal with. But sometimes it was really hard.” She reaches for his hand and squeezes. “I always missed you.”

Kanan sighs. “I know I keep apologizing, but… I’ll never stop being sorry.”

Hera holds him a little tighter. “Don’t, love. It’s in the past.” 

For a moment they lie there in silence, feeling the steady beating of each other’s hearts against their skin. The chrono reads half-past eight. Then Hera smiles, moving to sit upright and pulling Kanan with her. “C’mon. Shower.”   
He smirks. “That an invitation?”

“What do you think?” 

“Have I mentioned I love you?” Kanan laughs. Hera drags him to his feet. 

“You’re making me breakfast afterwards.” 

“I am?” He’s still smiling softly, like he can’t quite believe his luck, and Hera flushes dark green. 

“Mhm. Been way too long since you made something for me.” 

Kanan laughs again as Hera pulls him towards the fresher. “You got it, love.”

\-------

Hera forgot what a good cook Kanan is, and she isn’t prepared for how happy she is to see him in front of the stove, hair still damp from the shower. Breakfast is eaten in near-silence, after a half-hour of Hera doing her best to distract him from the kitchen counter while he cooked. It’s mostly because she’s too busy focusing on how good his food tastes. She was never as good as him, even after having to cook for herself while he was gone. 

Sabine and Ezra show up around ten, with Jacen in tow. They’re sitting on the small sofa in Hera’s quarters, just enjoying the quiet, when the three of them enter the room like a hurricane. Hera should have remembered that she gave Sabine the passcode to her door. 

Jacen wastes no time running over to them, giving Hera a big hug. 

“Hi, angel. Did you have fun last night?” 

Jacen turns and looks at Kanan. The latter looks shy, like he still isn’t quite sure what he’s supposed to say. But Jacen smiles, climbing onto the sofa with them and giving Kanan a hug too. “Hi, Daddy.” 

Kanan meets her eyes, and she can see the surprise there. But he smiles, patting Jacen on the back. “Hey, kid.” Then he glances at Sabine and Ezra. “Did you keep Uncle Ezra and Aunt Sabine out of trouble?”

Hera sees Jacen’s smile get bigger as he nods. “Sabine let me paint one of the ships!” 

Hera glares at her. “She did _what?_ ” 

Ezra and Sabine are wearing matching sheepish grimaces. “It was one of the decommissioned A-Wings!” Sabine shrugs. “Wedge said I could paint it if I wanted to- it’s just going to be stripped for parts in a couple weeks anyway.” 

Kanan laughs, pulling back to look at Jacen. “What did the three of you paint?”

Jacen smiles. “We painted you and Mommy!” 

Hera’s heart flutters. “You did?” 

“Mhm!” 

She smiles at Kanan, who’s blushing furiously. “We’ll have to go see it later, after Uncle Zeb gets here.”

“Speaking of,” Sabine says. “Zeb commed me. He’s about an hour out, and he’s bringing Rex and Ahsoka with him.”

Kanan freezes, and Hera can see him staring at Sabine like she lost her mind. “...Ahsoka’s dead,” he says, his brow furrowed. _Oh, kriff,_ Hera thinks. _He doesn’t know._

“Aunt ‘Soka’s coming?!” Jacen’s smile gets even bigger. 

Hera puts a hand on Kanan’s shoulder. “Love,” she says gently. “Ahsoka… Ahsoka survived the temple. She came back after you‒ while you were gone.” She still can’t say _after you died_ with a straight face.

His face is twisting, and Hera aches to hug him again, but Jacen’s still in between them. “How?” he whispers.

Ezra speaks up. “I got her out. I found the same portal I told you about, right after that night on the fuel pod. I managed to get Ahsoka out before the temple on Malachor collapsed. I tried to save you that day, too, but… the Emperor found us before I could do anything.” His face falls, and Hera could practically see the remorse there. 

Kanan swallows thickly. “So…” he glanced at Hera, lowering his voice to a whisper. “She’s okay? She doesn’t hate me for leaving her there?” 

If the others hear him, they don’t say anything, but Hera leans over to kiss his forehead, ruffling Jacen’s hair in the process. “She’s fine, love. You can ask her yourself when she gets here.” His smile lights up his whole face again, and Hera can see Ezra smiling, too.

Jacen chooses that moment to jump off the sofa, running up the stairs to his room. Chopper rolls in through the front door right after, warbling about landing codes and shipping permits and something else that Hera doesn’t care about right now. 

“Hey, Chop,” Hera says, taking the opportunity to scoot closer to Kanan. He wraps an arm around her shoulders, kissing the top of her head. Ezra and Sabine smirk at them, and Chopper grumbles, but none of them say anything. She suppresses a laugh as she remembers the old days, when the kids would mutter that they needed to _get a room_ every time they showed any sort of affection in public. 

Jacen comes back downstairs holding some of his toys, sitting down on the floor in the center of the room. He holds out one of them to Ezra, and Hera smiles as Eza sits down to play with him.

They pass the next half-hour or so like this, Hera tucked snugly against Kanan’s side as Ezra and Sabine play with Jacen. Chopper parks himself in a corner of the room, occasionally muttering something to Ezra or Sabine, but other than that it’s peaceful. Kanan presses small kisses against the top of her head occasionally, as his fingers draw patterns along her arm. It’s the least eventful morning she’s had in a _long_ time. 

Then, Sabine’s comlink rings, signaling that Zeb just arrived on base. Kanan meets Hera’s eyes with his slightly terrified ones, and she can tell how nervous he is, suddenly. 

“We’d better go meet them,” Hera says, pecking Kanan’s lips briefly. “You and Ezra should probably stay here. It’ll be a bit of a shock, seeing both of you again.” She can tell he’s panicking a little at the thought of being left alone with Jacen again. 

“Don’t be long,” Kanan murmurs, and she stifles a laugh at the gagging noise that Ezra makes. It makes Jacen laugh too, but Kanan just rolls his eyes. He looks so content that it makes her heart swell a bit. 

“They’ll be thrilled you two are here,” Hera says, before turning towards the front door.

\-----

Kanan swallows thickly as Hera turns to leave. He’s suddenly nervous again, in a way he can’t really explain. What will Zeb say? What will Rex and Ahsoka say? 

Ezra’s watching him from the floor, and as their eyes meet, he can see his own apprehension mirrored there. 

They don’t say anything, but Kanan does his best to send Ezra a reassuring prod through the Force. He seems to feel it, because he nods slowly, letting out a nervous laugh. Jacen glances up from the floor, smiling widely at Kanan and holding up one of his toys. Kanan can’t help but smile back. It’s still a _weird_ feeling, that this bright, happy little kid is his own flesh and blood, but he already loves Jacen dearly. 

Then, all too soon, Kanan hears the door open, and he’s tense again. Hera comes in first, and he unconsciously relaxes a little bit, the way he always does when she’s around. But then Zeb comes thundering in behind her, his eyes shining and his mouth open. He sees Ezra first, and moves to tower over him as he stands. Ezra grimaces slightly, holding his hand up in a small wave. 

“...Hey Zeb.”

For a moment Zeb only stares, then he crushes Ezra into a bear hug. “Karabast, I always knew Sabine was right. Welcome home, kid.” Kanan could swear he hears Zeb’s voice shake. 

“Uncle Zeb!” Jacen pipes up from the floor. He wraps his arms around one of Zeb’s legs, squeezing tightly since it's all he can reach. Kanan’s mouth twists into a small smile. 

“Hi, Jacen,” Zeb laughs. Then his eyes settle on Kanan, still seated on the sofa and doing his best to stay quiet. But now Kanan stands up slowly, running a hand across the back of his neck. Zeb is frozen stiff again, staring at Kanan like he’s seeing a ghost, and Kanan can’t really blame him. Ezra and Sabine both did the same when they saw him again. 

“Hi, Zeb,” Kanan says quietly. He doesn’t really know what else to say.

Zeb seems to be having trouble forming words, but then he settles on a small, “ _Kanan?_ ” 

“Yeah. It’s me.” He spots Rex entering the room over Zeb’s shoulder, followed closely by Ahsoka, and he can’t help but flush a dark red. They’re all staring at him like they’re seeing a ghost, until finally Zeb lets out something between a laugh and a sob, pulling Kanan into a hug of his own. 

“I always knew the kid would find a way,” Zeb mutters, and he almost sounds close to tears. Kanan’s _beyond_ happy to see them all again, and he feels all of the emotions rushing through him as he sees Ezra hug Rex and Ahsoka. Hera’s watching him from behind Zeb with a knowing smile, but just then Zeb squeezes him tighter and the need for air starts to become too much. 

“ _Zeb,_ ” Kanan wheezes. “Need to breathe.” He loosens his grip slightly, but doesn’t let go for another few moments. When he does pull back, his eyes are hard, almost angry.

“You _ever_ pull a stunt like that again, I’ll kill you myself, you hear? Hera was a wreck.” 

“ _Zeb,_ ” Hera warns. And Kanan knows he doesn’t mean for the statement to sting so much, but he can’t help but feel the twist of pain low in his stomach all the same. He tries to shrug it off, giving Zeb a small smile. 

“I’m sorry,” he says quietly.

Zeb smiles, rubbing at his eyes. “I’m just glad you’re back. Kiddo over there needs his dad.” He gestures to Jacen.

“I know,” Kanan smiles. 

Kanan walks up to Ahsoka next, as Zeb picks up Jacen and sets the kid on his shoulders. She’s watching him with that small, knowing smile that she always used to wear, and Kanan reaches out to wrap her in a hug. 

“I’m sorry,” he whispers. “For Vader, and Maul…” He feels Ahsoka pat him on the back, like she knows everything he’s thinking, and he feels a rush of calm radiating from her to quell his suddenly throbbing heart. He still feels so _guilty_ about leaving her to die.

“It’s in the past, Kanan,” Ahsoka says, with that knowing sparkle in her eye. “I’m glad Ezra was able to get you out, but I’m sorry we couldn’t do it sooner.”

He’s about to speak, but Jacen wedges in between them to hug Ahsoka himself. Kanan smiles down at him, and when he looks up again, Ahsoka’s watching him and wearing a matching grin. 

That’s when Rex grabs him, pulling him into a bone-crushing hug. He almost protests at being passed around like a ragdoll, but he supposes he shouldn’t complain. It’s not every day that your friend comes back from the dead. 

“Welcome back, Jedi,” Rex says, and Kanan thinks his voice is close to breaking, too. He claps Rex on the back just as the older man whispers, “I remembered what you said.” 

Kanan sucks in a breath. _Years_ ago, back in the early days when he finally got used to Rex being a part of the Rebellion full time, he pulled him aside. Kanan made Rex swear, on his own life and the life of his brothers, that if anything happened to him, he would take care of Hera. Kanan asked the same of Ezra and Zeb, but he made Rex swear too, because if anything _did_ happen, he knew the old veteran would honor that vow.

“Thank you,” he breathed, so that no one else could hear him. It warms him, that Rex listened, that he didn’t forget that promise. 

Breaking away, he looks around at all of them as Rex runs over to give Jacen a hug. The room is a sea of contentment that he can feel permeating the whole space, and one glance at Ezra tells him his padawan can feel it too.

Somehow he winds up next to Hera again. He finds her hand and squeezes, leaning to bump her shoulder with his. Even Chopper seems to be having a good time, moving between everyone and grumbling lightheartedly about how there’s no room to move around. Kanan chuckles as he watches everyone hugging and chatting without the weight of the entire galaxy bearing down on them for the first time ever. 

Hera leans in to kiss his cheek. “Welcome back, love.”

\------

Kanan pulls Rex aside late in the afternoon. 

The day passes in a blur. He’s a little exhausted, but he couldn’t be happier to have the crew back together again. He missed seeing Ezra and Zeb fight, he missed talking to Ahsoka about Jedi things, and he even missed Chopper running around and yelling at everyone. Watching Jacen play with all of them is nice too, and it gives him a fuzzy feeling he still isn’t quite sure how to place. 

He finds Rex sitting in a corner of the living room, watching Jacen and Sabine playing. Kanan jerks his head towards the door, and Rex nods, following him out. Hera raises an eyebrow at the two of them, but Kanan just squeezes her shoulder, murmuring that they’re going to get some air for a little while. She nods, but the way her eyes are scrutinizing him makes him feel like she can see right through him. But then again, she always could, even from the beginning. 

When they’re safely outside, standing on the street, Kanan turns to Rex. He doesn’t waste any time. “Rex. I need you to tell me something.” 

“Of course,” he says. “What do you wanna know?”

Kanan sighs. “How… how has Hera _really_ been?”

“Kanan…” There’s a warning in Rex’s voice, but he shakes his head. 

“Please. I need to know.” Kanan rests a hand on Rex’s shoulder. “She caught me up on what I missed, but I could tell she was holding some things back, for my sake. Just… give it to me straight. Tell me everything she won’t.” 

Now it’s Rex’s turn to sigh. “You’re only going to beat yourself up more,” he says.

“That ship sailed a long time ago. But I need to know.” 

“Alright,” Rex says with another sigh. “It was… it was bad, Kanan. She was a wreck, for a long time. First you, and then Ezra… there were days she could barely get out of bed.” 

Kanan fights the lump in his throat at Rex’s words. He suspected as much, but it still hits him like a punch in the gut. “Tell me.” 

“She kept right on going through it all. You would’ve been proud of her. She kept on being General Syndulla even when we could all tell she was crying 10 minutes before. When she found out she was pregnant, it got a little better, but pregnancy was physically hard on her too. It was almost a year before I even saw her smile again.”

And that tears him to shreds, because Hera without her smile is a sight he doesn’t even want to _think_ about. Rex seems to pick up on his distress, because he grabs him by the shoulders. “ _Hey._ She made it through. She’s tough, you know she is. And she _never_ blamed you, you hear me?” Rex practically shakes him to drive the point home. “It’s not your fault. You and I both know what it’s like to be the one who survives the war.” It’s true, but it doesn’t make the words any easier to hear. 

Kanan sighs, fighting back tears. “I just… I hate that I hurt her.” 

“ _You_ didn’t. The Empire hurt her.”

He breaks away from Rex, pacing back and forth as a couple stray tears leak out. “What do I do, Rex? I know she doesn’t blame me, but _I_ blame me. How do I live with what I put her through?”

Rex sighs again, pulling Kanan in for another hug. He hesitates at first, but before he can blink, Rex pulls back to look him in the eye. “You _live_ , Kanan. You make up for lost time. You tell her what she means to you as often as you can. All she ever wanted was to have you back, and now you’re here. Just be with her.”

“I know, but–”

“No buts. Take it from one old war vet to another. Second chances don’t come around often. Don’t waste it.”

Kanan sighs again, brushing away a couple stray tears. “Thanks, Rex. Thanks for being there when I couldn’t.” 

“Anytime, Commander.” And maybe it’s just because he’s already emotional, but the use of Kanan’s old rank warms his heart a little.

\-----

Much later, after everyone went home and Jacen was asleep, Kanan finds Hera in the kitchen, trying to clean up a bit. He walks up behind her, not bothering to care about whatever she has in her hands at the moment, and wraps his arms around her waist. He burrows into her neck as he squeezes her tighter, and for a moment he just breathes.

“Love, I’m trying to deal with the whirlwind that swept through here, you know,” Hera laughs. But he doesn’t move, only squeezes her again, like just by holding her he can erase the last 5 years from her memory. 

But then he feels Hera’s concern spike as she rests a hand over his. “Kanan? What is it?”

He lets out a shaky breath, pressing his lips against her pulse point. “Nothing. Just… I love you.” 

“I love you, too. What’s wrong?” 

He murmurs that he loves her one more time. “I wanna say it for every day I was gone.” 

Hera turns to face him, looping her arms around his neck. There’s a slight frown on her face. “Just keep saying it now that you’re back, love.” Then she kisses him. It’s slow and lazy, and in between kisses he whispers how much he loves her over and over again. 

“C’mon,” he murmurs. “This can wait til the morning.” 

Hera’s about to protest, but he gives her his best pleading eyes as he rests his forehead against hers. So she nods, pulling him towards her bedroom–it still doesn’t feel right to call it theirs yet. 

They get ready for bed in near-silence, and it isn’t long before they’re both tucked underneath the warm blanket. Hera’s head is resting on Kanan’s chest, and he can’t help but notice how heart–wrenchingly beautiful she looks like this. She blushes when he tells her so, pressing a feather-light kiss against his jaw before her eyes droop shut. 

He feels her breathing start to even out, and just before he falls asleep along with her, he says the words one last time. 

“I love you, Hera. With everything I have.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kanan has an important mission. Hera takes the opportunity to reconnect with some friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was SO FUN TO WRITE. These two are the loves of my life and they deserve the world.

The next week is the best of Hera’s life. 

Ezra’s getting acclimated to life around the base. He’s staying with Sabine in her spare room and doing his best to keep tabs on how things on Lothal have been since the Empire fell. Sabine even took him to see it, one day. He came back wearing a giant smile, rambling about all the improvements the people are making to the planet and how the environment is thriving.

Kallus arrives from Lira-San to meet Zeb, and to see Kanan and Ezra’s miraculous return for himself. It’s a little odd, to see someone that was once their most bitter enemy nearly cry as he hugs his newly-returned friends, before sternly yelling at Kanan to never die like that ever again. 

Hera laughs, but she pulls each one of the crew aside the next day, telling all of them to stop threatening Kanan like that–he’s already beating himself up enough. She can see it every time he looks at her. 

Ahsoka and Rex have both been spending lots of time with Kanan. He’s  _ beyond _ happy to see Ahsoka again, and the two of them meditate for hours, getting reacquainted. Hera’s  _ almost _ jealous, what with so many people trying to spend time with him now that he’s back, but she’s just happy that he’s happy. Kanan’s bonds with Ahsoka and Rex run deep, forged by mutual trauma and life experiences that she’ll never understand, and she’s glad he has people in his life to share that with. Still, the part of her that’s still just elated that he’s home wants to spend as much time with him as she possibly can. 

Even Chopper is excited to have Kanan back. He’s missed having someone to mess with, and even though Kanan complains about the droid making mischief, Hera can hear the smile in his tone every time he does. Chopper plays Kanan all of his old recordings of Jacen, and Kanan spends hours watching them with a smile on his face.

Jacen is over the moon, trying to spend as much time with his dad as possible. Hera can tell Kanan is still walking on eggshells around him, but the way he smiles when Jacen asks him to play with him tells her that he’s overjoyed too. One night, Hera finds them both asleep on the sofa together, Jacen curled up in his father’s lap and Kanan snoring softly. When Hera wakes Kanan up, he blushes. “He wanted me to tell him a story.” His eyes are shining a little.

Kanan is adjusting. He spends every moment he can with her and Jacen, in between doing Jedi things with Ezra and Ahsoka, and getting caught up on all the art projects Sabine was working on while he was away. She knows he’s trying to make up for lost time, trying to wedge his way back into everyone’s life even though he still isn’t sure he fits there anymore. 

They spend a lot of time in bed. Kanan gets  _ thoroughly _ reacquainted with her body as often as he can, and they make very good use of her comfortable mattress and her extra-warm shower. It isn’t just sex, though. They spend hours just lying next to each other, cuddling and talking and doing all the easy, mundane things they never had time for while they were fighting a war. Some days, they only emerge from bed when Jacen needs them for something, or when he gets fed up and jumps in the bed along with them. 

At the end of the week, Kanan says he has to leave. 

Hera stops breathing for a moment, staring at him with wide, panicked eyes, and she almost doesn’t catch the rest of the sentence. 

“ _ Hey.  _ Just for a day or two,” he whispers. “I lost my lightsaber on Lothal. I need to build a new one.”

She relaxes, slightly, but she’s still tense all over. The last time they were separated for any length of time, it ended in a fiery explosion that took him away from her. From the way his eyes soften, he knows exactly what she’s thinking. “Ezra and Ahsoka will be with me,” he says. “I’d say you can go with us, but it’s kind of a… Jedi thing.”

Right. She knows that; he’s told her before about the ritual aspect of making a lightsaber, but part of her is still trembling at the thought of letting him out of her sight for longer than a couple hours.

He frowns when the look on her face doesn’t go away, reaching for her hand. “I can go some other time…” 

“No, I– I know you need a lightsaber. I’m just…” Hera sighs. 

Kanan smiles. “I’ll take Chopper with me. He’ll give you hourly updates.”

Hera laughs, pressing her lips to his lightly. “Alright, love. The four of you can take the Ghost tomorrow.” 

When she watches the three of them take off the next morning, she’s less worried, but there’s a part of her that still wishes she could’ve gone with them.

\-----

Kanan’s secretly  _ really _ glad that Hera didn’t insist on coming along. 

He wasn’t lying when he said that building a lightsaber was a Jedi thing. It is, and he  _ does _ need a new one, but that’s not why he wants to go to Ilum. The real reason is much closer to home, one involving Hera, and a kyber crystal with her name on it that he hopes to  _ possibly _ fashion into a ring. He’s really glad she didn’t see through him like she usually does– it would have made his plan a  _ lot _ harder. 

They’re en route to Ilum when Kanan turns around to see Ezra and Ahsoka smirking at him. “What?”  
Ezra’s smile gets wider. “Don’t _what_ me. We both know you don’t need a new lightsaber _that_ badly.” 

Ahsoka shrugs. “Even I have to admit, I was surprised when you asked to come here. Spill, Kanan. What are we really doing here?”

Kanan sighs. Sometimes he  _ really _ hates Jedi. He turns around to where Chopper is hovering in the entrance to the cockpit. “Hey, Chop. Can you go check the coolant valve? I know we just replaced it, but I’m paranoid. And I need to talk to Ezra and Ahsoka about something important.” 

Chopper grumbles, of course, muttering that  _ I have more processing power than them, you can tell me too, _ but he does as he’s told. 

Kanan rubs the back of his neck when Chopper’s safely out of earshot. “Alright. I wasn’t lying about needing a new lightsaber. I  _ do  _ need one, but… that’s not why I really wanted to come here.” 

“So what’s up?” Ezra asks.

Kanan’s blushing furiously as he continues. “I do need a kyber crystal for myself, but… I’m getting an extra one, too.” 

Ahsoka’s eyebrows shoot up. “Isn’t Jacen a little young for–”

“Not–” Kanan swallows. “Not for Jacen.” He’s pretty sure his face is tomato-red by now. 

Ezra gasps. “Are you planning what I think you’re planning?”  
Kanan lets out a nervous laugh. “Yeah, I’m… I’m getting the extra crystal for Hera.” 

“For a ring.” Ezra’s smirk covers his whole face now, and he doesn’t phrase it like a question.

“Yeah.” 

Ezra  _ cheers.  _

Then he glances over at Ahsoka. “Did I call it, or did I call it?” 

“You guys  _ knew? _ ” Oh, kriff. Was he  _ that _ obvious?

Ahsoka chuckles. “It did seem pretty odd that you’d be in a big hurry to leave after only just getting back. The kyber’s not going anywhere.” 

“Great,” Kanan mutters. “Just great. Keep it to yourselves, okay? I’m trying to surprise her.”

Ezra’s face gets serious for a second. “Of course. But aren’t you guys sort of… already married? At least, in every way that counts? You know Hera doesn’t need a fancy ring.”

“He’s right,” Ahsoka pipes up. “She loves you, and you already have a family.”

“I know that.” Kanan rubs the back of his neck again. “But… I don’t know. I wanna do it right. We never got to, before I– before.” 

Ezra’s eyes soften, and he rests a hand on Kanan’s shoulder. “She’ll love it, Master. I know she will.”

Kanan smiles. “Thanks, kid.” Then a thought strikes him. “I’m not sure you need to call me that anymore.” 

“Probably not,” Ezra shrugs. “But too bad, Master.” 

Kanan smiles wider, if possible. 

The three of them sit there in silence for a moment, before Ahsoka speaks up. There’s a curious look on her face. “Hey, do you even know Hera’s ring size?”

Kanan freezes. “Oh,  _ shit.” _

\------

Spending the day without Kanan is proving to be harder than Hera thought it would.

Of course, today is the day that she doesn’t have much work to do. There’s nothing on the docket to keep her busy and keep her mind from straying towards things she’d rather not think about. Chopper’s been checking in with her regularly, sending her transmissions to keep her updated on their progress, so she knows they’re fine. She knows they  _ will _ be fine. She just can’t seem to get her heart to cooperate with her brain. 

Jacen comes wandering into the living room, where Hera’s currently sitting on the sofa. She’s sipping some caf and looking at a datapad when Jacen crawls into her lap, and she smiles when he looks up at her. “Hi, baby, what is it?” she says. 

“I miss Daddy” 

Kanan had told him he was leaving this morning, but the innocence in his voice makes her smile wider. He’s only been back for a week, and Jacen already loves him more than Kanan knows. Or at least, more than he’s ready to believe. Watching her boys bond makes her feel warmer inside than she ever has. 

“I miss Daddy too, honey.”

“When’s he coming back?” 

Hera laughs, leaning down to kiss Jacen’s forehead. “Daddy will be back tomorrow, with Uncle Ezra and Aunt ‘Soka, okay?” 

Jacen smiles wide, nodding emphatically. Hera laughs again. “Do you like having Daddy around here?”  _ I know I do. _ From the way Jacen’s smiling, she’s pretty sure she knows the answer already, but she still feels the need to ask. It’s a big adjustment for a five year old, suddenly having an absent parent back in the picture. 

“Mhm!”

“Good. That’s good, Jacen.” Hera can’t wait to tell Kanan that Jacen asked about him, when he gets back. “Daddy likes being home, too.”  _ More than you’ll ever know _ . Hera still has a hard time believing it herself, sometimes. 

Jacen frowns. “Why’d he have to go away for so long?” 

Hera sighs. “There was… something he had to do. But he’s staying here with us now, okay?”

“I don’t want Daddy to leave again.” 

“I know, kiddo. I don’t either.”

\------

Kanan lets out a frustrated sigh. 

He found his crystal a couple hours ago. That was easy; he felt the familiar pull, the same way he had when he was a child all those years ago. But trying to find a crystal for Hera is proving to be a daunting task. 

He doesn’t know how to find a crystal for someone else. He feels blocked somehow, like he’s being pulled in a thousand directions and he’ll never find the right fit. It has to be perfect, and he’s driving himself crazy as he scans the cave. This one’s too big, that one’s too small, that one’s got a weird shape… none of them say  _ Hera.  _ Everything he knows about her isn’t making it any easier. 

Ezra and Ahsoka are starting to get restless, too.

“We’ve been here for hours, Kanan. Just pick one,” Ezra says. 

“It’s gotta be the right one. I’ll know it when I see it.” Kanan clenches his fists. He’s starting to get nervous that he won’t  _ ever _ find the right one. 

Ahsoka smiles softly. “You know her best, Kanan. Just trust your gut. You know she’ll love whatever you pick.”

Kanan sighs again. “I know. But I just… I want it to be perfect.” 

“Maybe there’s something we can try.” Ahsoka’s brow furrows, like she’s deep in thought. “Here. Just try and relax. Let’s try meditating for a bit.” 

Kanan shrugs, not sure how exactly this will help. But then he remembers his own childhood, how taking a moment to breathe helped him eventually find his own crystal, and he nods, sitting cross-legged on the floor. 

The three of them find a meditative pose, and Kanan closes his eyes. They sit in silence for a moment, and Kanan feels the Force hanging at the edge of his awareness as he always does. 

Then, Ahsoka speaks again. “Alright, Kanan. Clear your mind. Feel the way the Force resonates with this place, with the crystals here.” 

He does, and he can feel the way all of the crystal in this cave has a unique echo in the Force, but… “None of them feel like Hera,” he says dejectedly. He’s been looking for that  _ one _ stone, that one rock that feels exactly like she does, but none of them match. He’s getting panicky, worried that he doesn’t know her well enough anymore and he’s forgetting exactly what she feels like. 

Ahsoka starts talking again, and Ezra lays a hand on his shoulder‒ a silent show of support. “Look closer. Picture how she feels, remember everything you love about her, and then check again. Trust yourself, and trust the Force. You’ll find the right one.” 

Kanan’s brow furrows as he tries to concentrate. Ahsoka’s words are exactly the kind of cryptic message the old Masters would give the younglings, but he tries to do as she says. He pictures Hera in his mind. Her smile, the mix of light and hope and worry that always makes up her presence in the Force. He remembers how it always used to feel, and then all the subtle ways it’s changed since he got back. He turns his attention back to the crystals again, trying to find one that matches her unique aura. For a few minutes, it’s more of the same, and none of them feel quite right. But then…  _ there.  _ Off in the distance. A crystal that feels like home and safety and  _ her. _

Kanan gets up in a hurry, rushing off down a path to the right. “Come on. This way.” 

He doesn’t see Ezra and Ahsoka share a knowing smile.

\------

Hera sips at her caf as she waits for the call to connect. She’s nervous, suddenly. She hasn’t spoken to him in a little while, and she has no idea how he’ll react to the news. 

Finally, the call connects. “Hi, Dad.” He looks worn out, more stressed out than the last time she commed him. Things on Ryloth have been rocky since the Empire fell, and they haven’t gotten to talk as much in the past few months. 

“Hera,” Cham says, smiling warmly. “It’s good to hear from you.”

“How are things on Ryloth?” Hera takes another sip of caf to distract from the nerves. 

“Not too bad. The last of the Imperial sympathizers are on the defensive and we’ve almost completely rebuilt the section of the capital that formed the heart of the Empire’s territory.”

“That’s good to hear,” Hera says, smiling back at him. 

“How are you doing? How’s Jacen? You don’t usually call out of the blue like this‒did something happen? Is something wrong?” 

Hera shakes her head. “Nothing’s wrong. Actually the opposite. Something’s happened, but it’s  _ amazing _ . Sabine… Sabine found Ezra, out in wild space somewhere.” 

For once her father seems genuinely excited. “That’s‒ really? That’s great, Hera! I’m happy to hear he’s safe. You must be thrilled to have him back.”

“Oh, I am, but that’s not the only thing.” Hera’s smile gets even bigger, if possible. “I still don’t understand how, but somehow… they brought  _ Kanan _ with them. He’s  _ back _ , Dad.”

Cham smiles. “I know.” 

“You  _ know? _ How? It only just happened!” How on earth could he possibly know? She hasn’t spoken to her father in a couple of months. They started talking a lot more after Kanan died, but lately things have been so busy. 

Her father just laughs. “He called me a couple of days ago.” 

“He called you? Why?” There isn’t any reason she can think of that Kanan would comm her father, of all people. 

“I think you should ask him that yourself, Hera.” There’s a knowing glint in his eye that she doesn’t know what to make of, but he’s still smiling. “I’ll come by sometime soon. It’ll be nice to see the Jedi for myself. I’m happy for you, Hera. truly. As long as you’re happy.” 

Hera blushes, still smiling. “I am, Dad. I really am.” For the first time in a  _ long _ time.

\-----

They’re en route back to the Outer Rim. Kanan’s cradling Hera’s crystal in his hand, looking at it like he’s surprised it exists, while his own rests safely in his pocket. 

Ezra claps him on the shoulder. “You’ve been brooding ever since we left Ilum. What’s wrong?” 

Kanan sighs. “Just wondering if this is a stupid idea,” he mumbles. 

Ezra hears him, though. “It’s not. You two deserve this, after everything you’ve been through. Besides, you  _ are _ technically married already.” Ezra’s been saying that a lot, trying to calm his nerves, and despite Kanan’s best efforts, it’s starting to work. 

Then Ezra chuckles. “Sabine will kill you for not letting her help. Zeb too.” 

Ahsoka laughs too. “Have you worked out how you’re going to ask?” 

“I don’t know. I haven’t thought that far ahead yet. I thought I’d just… ask,” Kanan finishes, lamely. 

“I know nothing about weddings, but even I know you can’t  _ just ask _ ,” Ezra says.

Ahsoka shrugs. “I’m sure she’ll love it no matter what you do, Kanan.” That peculiarly zen smile she always seems to wear is covering her face again. “She’s just happy you’re here.”

Kanan sighs again. “We haven’t talked about it much beyond wanting to do things right, this time. I’m not sure what the best way to ask her is.” 

“Well,” Ezra says, with his trademark smirk. “We’ve got a while in hyperspace before we get home. Maybe we can come up with something.”

Kanan blushes. “Thanks, guys.”

\------

“If I hadn’t seen the things the Jedi can do with my own eyes, I wouldn’t believe you, Hera.” A hologram of Leia Organa filled the living room, and her smile matches Hera’s own. 

“I barely believe it myself. I keep waiting for the day when I wake up and realize it was all an elaborate dream, but that hasn’t happened yet,” Hera says. 

Leia laughs. “I feel that way about Han and Luke sometimes. It’s still weird that I have a twin brother and I’m married to a former  _ smuggler _ .”

“Hey,” Hera laughs. “Not all smugglers are bad.” She blushes as she remembers some of the jobs she and Kanan used to pull, back in the day. They gave Han a run for his money, and Hera told him as much the last time they saw each other. He just flashed her his trademarked smirk and kept trying to get her to race the Falcon in the Ghost. Leia told him Hera would win, but Han wouldn’t believe either of them. 

“I know, I know. I just never thought I’d be so attached to one.” Leia smiles again. “Next time I get a day off, I’ll come out and see you. I’ll bring the boys along. Han and Kanan would get along great.”

Hera grimaces. “I’m not sure we should put those two together. That could turn into chaos.” 

“It can’t be worse than the things Han already gets up to,” Leia shrugs. “But I know Luke will be  _ thrilled _ to meet Kanan and Ezra. He’ll be so excited to meet some other Jedi.” 

Hera knows how happy Kanan will be to see Luke, remembers his look of awe when she told him that a Jedi helped take down the Death Star. “I know they’ll be excited, too.” 

They sit in silence for a moment, and Hera sips at her mug of hot tea. It’s a little late in the day for caf, but it’s early on Chandrila, where Leia is. She’s so busy with the Senate that they don’t get to talk much anymore.

“So,” Leia says after a minute. “When’s the wedding?” 

Hera nearly chokes on her drink, but the smirk on Leia’s face doesn’t falter. “The what?”

She can’t deny she hasn’t thought about marrying Kanan, especially when they had that conversation a week ago, but… “We haven’t really talked about that,” Hera says.

Leia frowns. “Why not? You love each other, right?”

“Of course. I‒We’ve talked about it a little. Technically we’re already married, I guess, but Kanan says he wants to ‘do it right.’” Hera blushes slightly as she remembers the look on his face. “But he only just got back. Getting used to the galaxy, and being a dad… I don’t want to push him.”

“Well‒” Hera hears a loud cry, and Leia glances off to the side. “Blast it, that’s Ben,” Leia says. “He’s been having such trouble sleeping lately.” 

“Jacen was the same, when he was a baby,” Hera chuckles. 

“Well, anyway, whenever you do decide to tie the knot, let me know, okay? And I’ll try and fly out there soon. See you around General,” Leia says, still smiling. 

“Good luck with the baby, General.”

\-------

They commed a few hours ago, signaling that they’ll be back home soon.

Hera wanted to stay up, but she’s exhausted from a day of chasing Jacen and she wound up turning in early instead.

She doesn’t hear Kanan come in. She’s half-asleep, tucked under the blanket, and she’s too tired to register him slipping off his boots. She doesn’t wake up until she feels the blanket lift, feels his warm body press against her back and his arm wind around her waist. She smiles, turning to face him and pressing a sleepy kiss against his cheek.

“‘M glad you’re home, love,” Hera says as she burrows closer into his neck. 

Her eyes are already closing again as she feels Kanan smile widely against the top of her head.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hera needs to run an errand for the New Republic, and Kanan gets some time alone with the kids.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This time Hera's the one who's called away! I've affectionately nicknamed this chapter the "space Dad and the kids being gratuitously cute" chapter. The parallels to the last chapter were somewhat intentional. I hope you like it!!! 
> 
> Next chapter is when Kanan finally asks the big question ;)

Sabine and Zeb are, just as Ezra predicted, upset that they weren’t allowed to help. 

They corner Kanan a few days later. He’s in a far-off corner of the base, somewhere he can be sure Hera won’t find him. He’s working on cutting the crystal down to the right size, when they sneak up behind him. Sabine clears her throat loudly, smirking at the way Kanan practically jumps three feet into the air. The  _ yelp _ he lets out is a dignified one, thank you very much. The way he hurriedly stuffs the crystal into his pocket is less suave. He was so wrapped up in what he was doing that he didn’t sense them coming. 

“How’d you guys find me?” he mutters.

Sabine shrugs. “Ezra.”  _ Blast it.  _ He loves the kid, but damn his mouth. “When were you going to tell us what you’re planning?”

“I didn’t want it to be a big deal,” Kanan says sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck. 

“Not a big deal?” Zeb pipes up. “You’re  _ proposing _ . That’s a pretty big deal.”

“It’s not– look, it’s already weird enough with me being back, okay? I know Hera and I are already… together, or… whatever we are, but I don’t want this to be a big production, y’know? She would hate that.”

“Oh we know,” Sabine says, her smirk still on her face. “We can keep things low-key.”

Kanan raises an eyebrow. “I didn’t think the word “low-key” was in your vocabulary.”

She shrugs. “Hey, this is important. Ezra said you still need to know her ring size.” 

Kanan grins. “Yeah, I do.”

“We’re on it,” Zeb says. “Consider it done.”

“Thanks, guys.” Kanan smiles. “If I need anything else, I’ll let you know.” He’s a little embarrassed that the whole family knows now, and a little worried that they won’t be able to keep it from Hera long enough for him to actually  _ ask, _ but he appreciates the thought, at least.

\------

A couple days later, Hera and Kanan are curled up in their bed, watching a holodrama that used to be one of their favorites. It’s been forever since Kanan was actually able to  _ watch _ something, and she’s enjoying the small smile that lights up his face. 

He’s been spending more time away from her the past few days, sneaking off to the outskirts of the base while she’s busy with work. She trusts him, and she doesn’t think he’s avoiding her, but part of her is starting to get curious. 

“So,” she murmurs. “You gonna tell me why you’ve been wandering off to the outskirts of the base while I’m gone?” 

Kanan tenses, and she can see the way his eyes widen. It’s a moment before he speaks. “No reason,” he mutters, and she can see that it’s not the whole truth. He’s hiding something– not a bad something, at least she doesn’t think so, but she’s curious all the same. “I just– I wanted some privacy. Working on my saber.” He’s still tense, and she smiles against his shoulder. She knows he  _ is _ building his lightsaber, but she suspects there’s more to the story based on something Ezra let slip the other day. Something that  _ probably _ has to do with their conversation about possibly getting married. She really wants to know, but she knows he’ll tell her when he’s ready.

Hera chuckles. “Alright. Let me know if you need anything, love.” 

She feels him relax. His arm around her shoulder becomes less stiff, and he goes back to tracing lazy patterns across her tricep. His lips press softly against the top of her head. 

It’s  _ really _ nice, to have these lazy moments with him again. She missed them the most while he was gone, probably because they never got enough of them to begin with. Whenever they weren’t fighting, they were busy corralling the kids, but now there was no war to stretch their time too painfully thin. There  _ is _ a very energetic, needy five year old boy, but he’s blissfully asleep by now, and they can finally breathe. 

But she does have to tell him something, so she lifts her head from his shoulder to look him in the eye. “Mon Mothma wants me to head to Coruscant on some errand for the New Republic. It should only take a few days.” 

Now he’s tense again, but it’s worse this time. He’s frozen stiff, rigid and silent. She knows what the planet means to him, so she runs a hand through his loose hair. “You don’t have to come,” she murmurs, kissing him softly. “It’s different there, now that the Empire’s gone. You might like to see it now, but I know you haven’t been back to the core since before the Purge.” 

Kanan relaxes again, letting out a sigh. His forehead leans against hers. “Thanks. I might go, eventually, but… I can’t yet.” Then he pulls back, meeting her eyes. “Wait. Does that mean–”

_ Here’s the tricky part.  _ “Jacen’s staying too.” 

“Are you insane? You’re leaving me alone with him?” 

Hera reaches for his hand. “You’re great with him. And you’ve got the whole base to help you– you two will manage just fine for a few days.”

“Hera, I don’t know…” He looks vaguely green. She knows Kanan’s still getting used to the whole parenting thing, but she also knows letting him and Jacen have some time together will only help them both. 

“Hey.” She kisses him again. “I do. You’ll be fine, I know you will. It’s only for a few days.” 

Kanan sighs again, his head drooping a little bit– the way that means he knows not to argue. “Alright.” His face tips up to hers again. “When do you leave?” 

“Day after tomorrow,” Hera sighs, as Kanan’s mouth trails down the side of her jaw.

She feels him smirk. “So you’ve got nowhere to be in the morning?”

Hera laughs, but he chooses that moment to suck a mark into her pulse point, and it comes out as a moan instead. “Nowhere at all.”

“Good,” Kanan says, reaching a hand down to cup her ass and pull her into his lap fully. “What say we make use of the free time?” 

They make  _ very _ good use of the time, and by the end she’s too tired to complain about how smug his smile is.

\------

Kanan doesn’t feel any less panicked when he watches the Ghost take off two days later. 

Jacen’s standing next to him, cheerfully waving goodbye with the kind of infectious joy only younglings can possess. It’s been so long since he’s seen it. Zeb’s busy–he and Kallus offered to manage Hera’s New Republic duties while she’s gone, and Kanan’s grateful for the both of them. But Ezra and Sabine are with them; they’ve agreed to help with babysitting duty. Kanan suspects that they heard the level of sheer terror in his voice when he asked. 

“C’mon, kiddo,” Kanan says, grabbing his hand. “Let’s go find something fun to do while Mom is away, okay?” His voice is steady, hiding all the nervousness currently coursing through him. Ezra’s got an eyebrow raised, so Kanan knows he must be able to feel it. 

The first two days are pretty uneventful. Sabine and Ezra keep Jacen pretty well occupied for most of the time. Sabine lets him paint with her, and even though part of the wall mysteriously turns a rather bright shade of pink at one point, they mostly stay out of trouble. Ezra shows Jacen some more “magic tricks,” and lets Jacen show him all his toys. They both know that Kanan’s busy, working on finishing up the ring before Hera gets back. 

At the end of the second day he gets it done, or at least sets the crystal onto a piece of metal that slightly resembles a ring. Sabine takes one look at it and rolls her eyes, before helping him shape the metal a little more smoothly. Ezra gives him a few pointers on the shape of the crystal, and with the three of them working together it doesn’t take long before it looks like a real ring and less like Kanan took some spare parts and jumbled them together. 

Kanan stares at it for a few minutes, frowning slightly.  _ Will she even like this? _ That perpetual self-doubt is rolling through his head again.

Ezra seems to sense his disquiet, because he puts an arm around his shoulder. “She’ll love it, Kanan. It doesn’t have to be perfect– you made it, that’ll be enough.”

Kanan smiles. “I hope so, kid.”

\------

Sabine corners him while Jacen and the rest are curled up in the living room, watching a holo. She’s leaning against the wall, smiling slightly, and Kanan raises an eyebrow. “What?”

She shrugs. “You’re still worried about asking Hera the big question. You’ve got that tick in your eyebrow you always used to get when you were worried.” 

Kanan’s eyebrow climbs higher. “I’m not  _ that  _ worried.” 

“Relax, Kanan. You haven’t burned the house down while Hera’s away, Jacen’s fine, and the proposal’s going to go great. Trust me.” 

He laughs. “Just like that, huh?”

“Just like that.” 

Kanan nods, still chuckling. Then he smiles. “I never said thanks, for helping me get her ring size.” 

Sabine waves a hand. “Happy to help– it’s good to help out with something happy, for a change.”

“I never thanked you for everything else, either.” He looks at Sabine with a serious expression, now. 

Her brow furrows. “What do you mean?” 

“Bringing us home. Not giving up on Ezra after all that time,” Kanan says. Then, in a smaller voice. “Being there for Hera and Jacen over the years.” 

“Hey,” Sabine says. “You know you don’t have to thank me for that, right? That’s what family does.” 

“I know,” Kanan says, his voice low. “But I know it can’t have been easy on you–any of you. I owe you a great deal of thanks.” 

“Don’t mention it,” she says, in a tone that brokers no argument. “I’m just glad I could help.” 

Kanan nods, swallowing down the inexplicable lump in his throat. “You know– you know you’ll always have a place here, right? I know it’s not the same– you’re older now, and all that, but… don’t forget that.” 

Sabine smiles, and Kanan could swear he sees her eyes shining. “I know, Kanan. Thanks.” 

The words hang heavy in the air for a few moments, before they hear Jacen squeal from the next room. Then they both laugh, and Kanan jerks his head. “C’mon,” he says, wrapping an arm around Sabine’s shoulders as they make their way back to the rest of them. 

Surprisingly, she doesn’t protest like she always used to, instead slinging an arm around his waist and leaning her head against his shoulder in response. He can’t help but smile.

\----

After dinner the next evening (cooked by Zeb– Jacen loves Zeb’s cooking even better than Kanan’s, a fact that Kanan’s determined to remedy someday), Ezra corners him as they’re doing the dishes. “So,” he says. “Have you thought any more about how you’re going to ask?”

Kanan nods, swallowing thickly. “I thought I’d– I don’t know. Do something with just the two of us. A real date. We didn’t get many of those even before the war, y’know?” 

“Sounds like a good plan,” Ezra nods. “Any idea what yet?” 

“Something simple. Hera never liked anything flashy,” Kanan smiles. 

Ezra laughs. “That’s true. I’m sure it’ll be great. But you’ll have to give us a heads up when everything’s going down– you know Sabine will want to celebrate when she says yes.” 

“ _ If _ she says yes,” Kanan clarifies. Not that he’s really worried about her saying no, but that small voice in the back of his head reminds him that it’s still  _ possible. _

“She won’t say no.” They’re silent for a few minutes, listening to the sounds of Jacen, Zeb and Chopper in the next room. Then Ezra changes the subject. “So. What’s it like to be back home?” 

Kanan laughs. “I should be asking you the same thing. This has to be just as weird for you as it is for me.” 

Ezra shrugs. “Time passed normally for me. I could watch what was happening from afar, at least, while I was stuck out in the middle of nowhere with Thrawn. It wasn’t always all that bad. Getting to see the galaxy at peace is definitely a good feeling, though.”

Kanan nods. “And being back with the family again?” 

“That part could never be weird. It’s odd seeing how things have changed, but this was always where I wanted to be.” 

“Me too,” Kanan says with a smile. “It’s still weird to me, seeing the galaxy without the Empire. Not having to dodge stormtroopers everywhere we go. Having a kid. But it’s  _ great _ . Never thought I’d see this day.” He glances over at Ezra, still smiling. “I guess I have you to thank for that.”

“You would have done the same for me,” Ezra mutters, blushing deep red. “You don’t have to thank me.” 

“Still, I’m grateful.”

“I know, Master.” 

Kanan sighs, though he’s still smiling. “How many times, kid. You don’t need to call me that anymore.”

Ezra’s got a small, hopeful smile on his face, and he can feel the warmth radiating from him through the bond they share. 

“Alright. How about… how about Dad?”

Kanan sucks in a breath, looking at Ezra with wide eyes. His whole body feels lighter, and for a moment he just stares, not quite believing his ears as Ezra blushes even deeper. 

“Sorry, I just– you and Hera took me in, no questions asked. You’re the only family I’ve had since I was seven. So–” 

Kanan doesn’t let him finish, pulling Ezra into a hug instead. He feels him hesitate, before returning the hug earnestly, gripping the back of Kanan’s shirt tightly. 

They don’t say anything; they can feel everything they need to through the bond they share. Until eventually, Kanan murmurs, “You’re family too, kid. You always will be.”

\------

Hera’s due back home the next morning. Kanan’s finally starting to relax, though when he thinks of the ring, tucked safely away in Sabine’s quarters where Hera won’t find it, he starts to get worried again. He’s seated on the sofa in their small living room, watching Jacen as he plays in the center of the room. 

It’s been… nice, to spend the last few days with the kid. Every time Jacen flashes him that big smile– achingly similar to his own– he feels a little bit lighter. He still doesn’t quite know how to act around Jacen yet, but it’s starting to get easier. The previous day, he tried to teach Jacen how to meditate, just sitting and breathing, like they used to teach the younglings at the temple. He managed it, for a few minutes, before getting restless again and running off to go find Chopper. Kanan just shook his head, giving him a small smile. 

The more time he spent with Jacen, the more he realized how much like himself he really was. The kid was one big ball of energy, stubborn as hell when he wanted to be, (he should have expected that, it’s something Kanan and Hera both have in common), and he seems to have inherited a young Caleb Dume’s penchant for asking questions. 

He doesn’t mind that, when the questions are asked of other people. But it’s more difficult when they’re directed at him.

“Daddy?” Kanan’s snapped out of his thoughts by Jacen climbing onto the sofa next to him. 

“Yeah, Jacen?”

“Can my hair be long like yours?”

Kanan laughs. That’s unexpected. “Maybe, kiddo. We’ll have to see what Mom thinks, first.” 

Jacen pouts. “But I wanna look like you!”

That one makes his insides clench uncomfortably, but in a good way. Jacen moves closer, crawling over to lean his head in Kanan’s lap as he laughs. “Well,” he says. “Mom will be back tomorrow, okay? We can ask her then. But I like your hair like this.” To prove his point, he ruffles Jacen’s head, smiling as the boy laughs. He still hasn’t gotten used to the bright green, or the barely-there tinge of green on the tips of his ears that he inherited from Hera.

For a few moments they’re silent. Jacen hasn’t moved from his lap, and Kanan doesn’t move either, for fear of breaking the moment. Since he’s been back, he’s started being able to sense Jacen more and more, and now he can feel that tiny spark of light that connected the two of them especially clearly. 

Eventually, Jacen does move, reaching up to kneel next to Kanan so he’s at eye-level with him. Kanan raises an eyebrow. “What’s wrong, Jacen?” Did he do something?

Jacen says nothing, just reaches up and wraps his arms around Kanan’s neck. Kanan freezes, surprised at first, before relaxing and hugging Jacen back. It’s only the second time the kid has ever hugged him, and he stays still out of fear of shattering the moment like glass. 

“What is it, Jacen?” 

“I love you, Daddy.”

Kanan sucks in a breath, and now he can’t speak even if he wanted to. There’s an uncomfortable tightness in his chest as warmth spreads through his entire body. He’s only been here a couple  _ weeks _ , and this kid hasn’t stopped surprising him since he saw him standing next to Hera outside the Ghost. He’s looking forward to even more surprises.

“I love you too, kiddo.”

\-----

Hera finds them both asleep a few hours later.

She wasn’t due in until the morning, but she managed to shave a couple hours off the hyperspace jump. She would have commed ahead, but it was already so late back on base. 

She walks through the door of their apartment, not expecting to find anyone. She  _ definitely _ doesn’t expect to see Kanan and Jacen curled up on the couch together  _ again _ . 

Jacen’s got his head tucked securely into Kanan’s shoulder, while Kanan has an arm around the boy’s waist. Hera can’t help but grin widely when she sees them; they’re both wearing matching small smiles, and she can’t help but notice  _ just _ how much Jacen looks like his father when they’re both asleep like this. 

She really should wake them up; she knows Kanan will wake up with a sore neck and stiff muscles, and Jacen really should sleep in his own bed now that he’s older. But she just stands there with that big dopey smile on her face. She spots Chopper over in a corner and discreetly ushers him over, whispering to him to take a picture. She wants to capture this forever–and she has a feeling Kanan will want to see it later, too. 

She drops a kiss on Jacen’s forehead, and she’s about to do the same for Kanan when she feels him grab her hand. She resists the urge to let out a surprised squeak, as she looks up to see him smiling softly at him. 

“You were just going to sneak off to bed without telling me you were home? Rude, love.” 

Before she knows it, she’s tucked against Kanan’s other side, both of them being careful not to wake Jacen. 

Hera kisses his cheek lightly. “Anything eventful happen while I was gone?” 

“Oh, not much. The usual. No one died. That’s usually a win for us, right?”

Hera laughs, because, stars, she missed him. “Different times, love. Not dying isn’t really the bar for success anymore, these days.” 

“Mmm.” Kanan turns, finding her lips and planting a kiss there. “Seriously. It was all okay. I actually had fun.” He pauses for a moment, and she can see a swirl of emotions in his eyes. “Jacen said he loves me,” he says after a moment, his forehead coming to lean against hers. 

Hera smiles, kissing his lips again. “Of course he did,” she says, feeling warm all over at how happy and relaxed he is. “I told you he loved you.” 

Kanan smiles, a small one full of disbelief and awe that’s very rapidly becoming her favorite. 

The three of them don’t move for the rest of the night, falling asleep right there on the sofa in the best group snuggle she’s ever been a part of.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Huge shout out to everyone who's stuck with this fic so far- it really means a lot to me!!!


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kanan asks the big question (even though Hera technically asked him first)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THEY'RE GETTING MARRIEDDDDDDDDD. Anyway I love this two so enjoy some more gratuitously fluffy garbage <3

It takes Hera a little longer than usual to get them into a safe orbit, but Kanan isn’t complaining. She’s probably taking so long because she can’t stop glancing over at him, sitting in the copilot’s seat of the Ghost again for the first time in far too long. It reminds her of the old days, and from the way he’s smiling at her, he knows exactly how she’s feeling.

He’s tense, though, like there’s something on his mind. She can see it out of the corner of her eye; every time she turns back to the console his brow furrows as he watches the stars. 

He was blushing like mad when he suggested they take the Ghost off-planet– just the two of them. He mumbled something about how they should get away for a while and have some time to themselves, but she was too busy melding her face to his to really hear him. He looked so unbelievably sweet, red-faced and nervous with his hands shoved in his pockets, that she just nodded a yes at him and commed Sabine to watch Jacen for the night. 

Once they’re stable, Hera turns to Kanan, still smiling. Surprisingly, he’s already on his feet, his hand outstretched. She takes it, and when he pulls her to her feet his lips press softly against hers. She tries to ignore the small flutter in the pit of her stomach.

“C’mon,” he murmurs. “I’m making you dinner.” 

Hera smirks. “Oh, are you now?” 

“Yup.” Kanan smiles right back. “Think you deserve a break for a while.” 

Hera lets him lead her to the galley by the hand, her smile still covering her face. “Sounds perfect, love.” 

* * *

He’s trying desperately not to let her see how nervous he is. 

The ring burns a hole in his pocket the entire time he cooks, and when he looks over at Hera, sitting on the counter and doing her damndest to distract him, he’s tempted more than once to pull it out right then. But he doesn’t, fighting his own impatience and sticking to the plan.

This is probably more planning than he put into some of their ops, back in the day. Kanan had told Ezra, Zeb and Sabine what he was up to before he asked Hera to take the Ghost with him. Sabine and Ezra would watch Jacen, and Zeb and Kallus would make sure that no pressing military matters could interrupt them and pull Hera away. It was a foolproof plan, and now the only thing standing in his way are his own blasted nerves. 

Hera’s sipping a glass of the sunfruit liquor he picked up the day before. “Dinner  _ and _ wine? You really do know how to spoil a girl.” 

“I aim to please,” Kanan says, and the small smile she gives him in response makes him feel a little warmer. 

He doesn’t know why he’s so nervous. This is  _ Hera,  _ for kriff’s sake. He knows she loves him and he knows she won’t say no, but no matter how many times he tells himself that they’ve talked about this already, that they’re already married, really, so this is just a formality, that  _ she asked him first,  _ his brain won’t calm down. Dinner is made in near-silence, the comfortable kind where you’re just happy to be in one another’s presence, but there are a couple times he has to recite some of his old meditation mantras in his head.

All too soon, the food is ready, and not even Hera’s excited squeal when she sees that he made her favorite can distract him. One hand is shoved in his pocket, and he takes a swig of his own glass of wine, hoping the liquid courage will help steady his nerves. 

They don’t say much during dinner, either. They’re both relatively quiet, sitting shoulder to shoulder and making idle conversation about the little things. He lets Hera complain about the new pilots, all the administrative work she has to do, and all the ways Mon Mothma’s been driving her crazy. He lets her, wrapping an arm around her shoulders and interjecting here and there. He rambles a bit about all the things he’s been trying to catch up on, about how building his saber is coming, and how weird it still feels that there’s no more Empire. It’s nice, just to sit here with her, like they used to back in the old days, when it was just the two of them and Chopper on the Ghost. Before the war and the kids and before everything got way too damn complicated to think about. It calms him down, in a weird way, to remember that they have all the time in the world now. 

Before he knows it, their plates are clear, and they’re both two glasses of wine in. Hera’s head has made its way onto his shoulder and he’s tracing patterns against her arm with his fingertips. For a moment or two, they just sit there, silent and content and slightly buzzed from the wine and the side effect of spending time together. Then he reaches into his pocket, his hand closing around the small ring as he swallows thickly. “Hey, Hera?”

“Hmm?” She sounds slightly sleepy, as her head comes off of his shoulder so she can look up at him. 

Kanan swallows again.  _ Now or never, Jedi.  _ “I– I got you something.” 

Hera’s reaction is not what he expects. She stops moving entirely, her whole body going rigid and still next to him. Her eyes are wide as saucers, looking at him with a kind of fear that utterly perplexes him.

He’s thoroughly confused, and slightly alarmed, as he grabs her hand. “Hey. What’s wrong?”  _ Did I somehow fuck this up already? I haven’t even  _ asked _ yet. _

But Hera relaxes a moment later, letting out a shaky sigh. “No, sorry, it’s fine. I just– the last time you got me a present…”

_ Oh.  _ “I died.” 

“Yeah.”

Kanan squeezes her hand. “This one’s different. I promise,” he laughs.

Then he pulls his hand out of his pocket, trying to ignore the pounding of his heart as he uncurls his palm and reveals the small object in the center.

Hera lets out a tiny gasp, staring down at his hand. Her eyes are still wide, but now they’re shining, and as they shift up to his face, he sees something like awe in them. Kanan fights the blush that’s steadily creeping up his neck, and he’s suddenly, inexplicably self-conscious. “I didn’t have time to, uh– get a box? Or anything, I just–”

“Kanan.” Hera’s voice is breathy, and there’s a big smile on her face that he absolutely  _ loves _ . “Is that…?”

He swallows. “Yeah. Yeah, I– I guess–” He can’t stop stammering long enough to get the words out, and everything he planned to say is suddenly vanishing from his brain. From the way Hera’s smile softens, she can tell exactly how nervous he is. But then, she was always good at knowing what he was feeling. “We said we should do this right, didn’t we?”

“It’s beautiful,” Hera whispers. “Did you– where did you get this?”

Kanan rubs the back of his neck. “It’s kyber,” he says in a low voice. “I thought it’d be… fitting. Y’know? Kyber crystals are… special. They resonate with the Force, and they respond to whoever has one. Kind of like they’re alive.” He’s speaking fast, struggling to get his breathing under control as his blush grows deeper. “I found this one when I went to get my new saber crystal, and it… it felt like you,” he mumbles. He’s staring down at his hand, but Hera tilts his chin up so he can look her in the eye. There are tears in hers as she squeezes his hand again. 

“Are you... Are you proposing?” Hera laughs lightly. “You know I kind of… already asked you.” He just stares at her for a moment, suddenly feeling painfully self-conscious again. A million thoughts are running through his head, that this was stupid, that they’re sitting in the common room of the Ghost and he should have done this somewhere else, somewhere  _ special. _ But Hera’s still looking at him, and he hasn’t said anything for a minute or two and he should stop thinking and just  _ speak _ , even though everything he planned to say suddenly doesn’t seem right. But he sighs, nodding at her slowly.

“I meant what I said. I wanna do this right, even if nothing about how we got here is normal.” He takes a deep breath. “I love you. I always have, and you know that, but–” He’s stammering again, and Hera’s having trouble containing her smile. The tears in her eyes are starting to spill over. “I don’t know where I’d be now, if it wasn’t for you. I don’t know  _ who _ I’d be. I probably would have died in a drunken bar fight  _ ages _ ago, to be honest,” he laughs. He’s still talking too fast, still blushing, but the way Hera squeezes his hand gives him a weird shot of courage. “I can’t imagine my life without you in it. You and Jacen. And… I wanna spend the rest of it right here.” He takes one more shaky breath. “So… Marry me, Hera?” 

For a moment, Hera just stares at him, her eyes shining and her smile brighter than the kyber crystal in his hand. Then she  _ launches  _ herself at him, throwing her arms around his neck and kissing him breathless. 

When she pulls away, she’s laughing. “I was so damn  _ proud _ of asking you first. And then you go and  _ ruin it, _ ” she laughs. The tears make it difficult, though, and he reaches up to brush them away. 

“Is that a yes?” 

“Of course I will, you giant  _ idiot _ . You didn’t have to do all this.” 

Kanan shrugs, rubbing the back of his neck again. “I wanted to,” he mumbles, before reaching to slide the ring onto her finger. To his  _ immense _ relief, it fits perfectly, and Hera smirks at him after he puts it on.

“How’d you know it would fit?”

Kanan’s blush gets deeper. “I  _ may _ have asked the kids for help.” 

Hera laughs again. “Of course you did,” she says with a fond smile. “So. We’re really doing this, huh?”

“We’re really doing this,” Kanan laughs. “Nothing stopping us, this time.” 

“Nothing indeed,” Hera says, moving to kiss him again. “I love you, too, by the way. So much it scares me sometimes.”

Kanan would laugh, but his mouth is busy doing other things. Their lips are fused together, moving in a slow, lazy kiss that sends tingles all the way down his spine.

After a minute or two, Hera starts laughing against his lips. Kanan smiles, but he can’t help but feel mildly offended as he raises an eyebrow and chuckles along with her. “What’s so funny?”

Hera grabs his hand. “Remember what Okadiah said, back at that god-awful cantina you used to work at?”

His eyebrow climbs higher. “You drink the top-shelf stuff again and I’ll kick your ass?” 

That gets him another laugh, but she’s still giving him that soft smile. “You asked him to tell me about you.” 

His smile softens. “A fine pilot, an occasional humanitarian, and a somewhat tolerable houseguest.” 

Hera bumps his nose with hers. “And?” 

Now Kanan blushes, a deep red that spreads across his whole face. “Marry him,” he mumbles, his chin tucked inward.

She tilts his head back up to hers, and he can see the kyber shining on her finger. “Ironic, huh?”

His arms wrap around her waist as he laughs again. “I really love you.” 

“I know,” she says, before dragging his face back down to hers. 

For a moment it’s pure bliss, both of them smiling and happy and hopeful, and he can feel all the emotions pouring from her, almost as strongly as his own. The metal band is cool against his face, and it makes his smile grow even wider.

He’s just about to suggest that they take this to one of the bunks, when the bubble is shattered by a muffled  _ cheer _ coming from the vent above their heads.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the aftermath of the proposal, the whole family celebrates.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Space parents and their chaos children <3 <3 <3

They both freeze, and Hera reluctantly tears herself away from Kanan’s lips to glance above them. She’s surprised, afraid even, but after looking at the indignant expression on Kanan’s face, she can’t help but laugh. His expression is a bizarre mixture of embarrassment and resolve, like he deeply regrets letting the kids in on his plan but he’s weirdly happy that they wanted to be a part of it. 

“Alright, Ezra,” Kanan says, rolling his eyes. “You can come out now.” The cheering stops abruptly, and Hera glances over to see a panel in the ceiling rattle to their left. She catches a glimpse of Ezra’s leg as he tries to wriggle out of the vent, but then suddenly he seems to lose his balance and topples headfirst out of the ceiling into a heap on the floor. Hera can’t help but laugh again, both at how weird it is to see adult Ezra trying to pick himself up off the floor, and at how familiar this scene is. It’s almost like they’ve gone back in time, like Ezra is 15 again and Kanan caught him eavesdropping on one of their mission briefings.

Hera stands up, reaching out a hand to help Ezra up. He lets out a nervous laugh as he takes it. “Hey guuuuuuys!” he says, with another laugh. “Fancy seeing you both here.” 

Kanan raises an eyebrow. “Uh huh. I thought I told you I  _ didn’t _ want you and the others coming along on this.” He’s still blushing, and Hera reaches for his hand. He flashes her a small smile as she takes it. 

“How long were you listening?” Hera laughs. 

Ezra grins. “Long enough. Congrats, you two!” He reaches to pull them both into a hug, and Hera chuckles again at the startled grunt Kanan lets out. But then he laughs, too, clapping his padawan on the back as he pulls back. “I’m really happy for you,” Ezra says, his smile growing wider. 

“Thank you, Ezra,” Hera says. Then she frowns as she’s struck by a thought. “But if you’re here, where’s Jacen? And who’s watching him?”

“Well…” Ezra rubs at the back of his neck, jerking his head upward. 

“Ezra Bridger!” Hera yells. She looks over at Kanan, whose face is a mix of anger and concern. “You let our son climb into the vents?” 

As if on cue, Kanan bumps her shoulder, jerking his head up towards the vent that Ezra has just vacated. She can see a glimpse of green, before Jacen pokes his head out of the ceiling and gives them both a cheery wave. “Hi Mommy! Hi Daddy!” 

“Hi Jacen,” Kanan says, keeping his voice remarkably even. It’s infuriating, sometimes, that Jedi calm of his, and the way he can keep a cool head in any situation, even when  _ their child is inside of the ship.  _ “How ‘bout I help you down from there?” He walks over to stand under the vent, and he’s tall enough that he can reach up to grab Jacen from where he’s half-hanging out of the ceiling. When he gets Jacen out, he shifts so that he’s holding him in the crook of one arm, and Jacen wraps his arms around Kanan’s neck. 

“Uncle Ezra said we could watch.”

“I’ll bet he did,” Kanan mutters.

Jacen looks over at Hera, and his eyes turn curious when he sees the ring on her finger. “What’s that, Mommy?” 

Hera glances down at her hand, blushing deeply again. A flutter runs through her as she walks over to the two of them, holding out her hand where Jacen can see it. “Daddy got me a present,” she says, and she sees Kanan blush a deep red again. 

“It’s pretty,” Jacen says.

“It  _ is _ pretty,” Ezra chimes in. “It came out great, Kanan.” 

“Thanks, kid,” Kanan says, smiling.

“So, I take it she said yes?”

All four of them look over to the doorway of the common room, where Sabine is leaning against the wall. Her arms are folded across her chest, and she’s smiling, too.

“Aaaand Sabine’s here. Should’ve guessed,” Kanan grumbles. “What part of ‘I wanna do this when we’re alone did the both of you not understand?” 

Sabine shrugs. “You were alone. We were just… in the background. So, c’mon Hera, let’s see the rock.” 

Kanan’s blushing even deeper now, and Hera leans up to kiss his cheek before holding out her hand to Sabine. She nods approvingly, before throwing her arms around both of them much like Ezra had. Jacen is still in Kanan’s arms, and he laughs excitedly. He always did like hugs.

Chopper and Zeb come waltzing in next, and Kanan’s face somehow gets redder as he rolls his eyes again. His face is so flushed he almost looks like Azmorigan, and she squeezes his hand. 

“This is the last time I ask any of you for help with anything,” he groans, setting Jacen down on the floor. 

“Aw, come on, Kanan, you didn’t expect us to miss this, did you?” Zeb yells, clapping Kanan on the back. “You’re getting married! This is a big deal!” Even Chopper lets out an excited warble. 

Kanan sighs, but he’s smiling now, and he reaches over to wrap an arm around Hera’s waist. Jacen is still standing in front of them, but she goes willingly, leaning her head on Kanan’s shoulder. “Yeah,” he says in a low voice. “It is a big deal.” He kisses the top of her head, and she can hear his grin in his voice. 

Sabine grabs them both by the hand, leading them to sit back down at the small table. Hera raises an eyebrow, and she’s about to ask what they’re planning, before Ezra comes back into the room, holding… a cake?  _ How did they‒  _ She didn’t even see Ezra leave the room. Kanan looks similarly shocked, and he raises an eyebrow at Ezra and Sabine.

Jacen cheers as Ezra sets the cake on the table, and Hera and Kanan are both laughing as they glance at each other, both of them wearing matching soft smiles. Hera looks around at them all, and she’s trying to commit this scene to memory. Her face is starting to hurt from all the smiling.

She dreamt about having moments like this so many times in the years after Kanan died, but none of those dreams compare to how she feels right now. Kanan seems to notice the look on her face, because he moves to pull her against his side again as Ezra starts to slice the cake. It’s intoxicating, having the whole family together again for this moment, and she’s not even embarrassed that they heard everything that she and Kanan said to each other. She’s just happy, happier than she can ever remember being. 

Sabine and Ezra are plowing them with questions about the wedding and telling her stories about helping Kanan plan (at which Kanan becomes conspicuously silent next to her and starts blushing again). Jacen’s just excited, chiming in whenever there’s a lull in the conversation and managing to get his face impossibly dirty. He smears some cake on Kanan’s nose, too, but Kanan doesn’t complain, just laughs and pulls Jacen up to sit him on his lap. 

They pass the rest of the night like this, just talking and laughing and trying to keep this bubble of excitement going a little longer. Jacen falls asleep midway through, leaning against Kanan’s chest in a pose that’s so impossibly endearing that she has Chopper take a picture immediately.

By the end of it they’re all falling asleep, and after Ezra, Sabine and Zeb have finally had enough, they retire to their old bunks on the Ghost. Sabine takes Jacen with her, and then they’re finally alone again.  Hera’s  head droops onto Kanan’s shoulder as her hand twines with his. 

“You know,” Kanan mumbles, his voice heavy with how tired he is. “I’m actually kind of glad they were here. Mildly embarrassed, but glad.” 

“Me too,” Hera says, reaching up to pull his face down to hers. Their lips meet briefly, but they really are both exhausted, so she pulls away after only a few moments. She drags their joined hands up to press her lips against the back of his. “It’s worth the embarrassment, to have the family together again.” 

“Agreed,” he hums. 

They sit there for a few more minutes, enjoying the quiet, before he stands up and pulls her to her feet after him. She lets him lead her to his old cabin, and they’re both so tired that they don’t even bother changing into sleep clothes. Hera strips off the outer layer of her flight suit, and Kanan sheds his shirt and belt, before they both crawl into bed. They wind up on their sides, facing each other, and his brilliant blue eyes meet hers as he reaches for her hand again. 

“I really can’t wait to marry you, y’know?” he says, his eyes already closing as he scoots closer to rest his forehead against hers. 

Hera chuckles at the raw excitement in his voice, kissing his lips briefly before her own eyes start to close. “I really can’t wait to marry you, either, love.”  _ For real this time _ . She’s never been more excited for something in her entire life. 


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The celebrations continue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had such bad writer's block while working on this, so this is shorter, but next chapter is where things really start to get interesting :) This is just some more gratuitous fluff for fluff's sake, and I am not ashamed.

Naturally, all hell breaks loose the minute the  _ Ghost _ touches down on base. Or at least it seems that way to Kanan. 

They step off the exit ramp, one hand twined with Hera’s and the other holding Jacen’s. He’s been doing that a lot lately, and Kanan’s discovering just how much he likes it. A loud noise greets them when they step off the ship, and for a split-second he goes into full panic mode, thinking that somehow the Empire has returned and stormtroopers are shooting at them again and they’re going to have to duck and run just like they used to. 

But then the moment passes, and he realizes the noise he’s hearing is actually applause and cheers coming from the small group that has assembled at the foot of the ship. 

Kallus, Rex, and Ahsoka are waiting at the bottom of the ramp for them, all three of them wearing matching grins. Behind them are some more faces that Kanan vaguely recognizes– some of Hera’s pilots, along with Hera’s friend Shara Bey and her son Poe (who he was introduced to last week). Jacen squeals excitedly when he sees his friend, and Kanan nods at him. The boy runs towards Poe, and the two of them run off somewhere away from the rest of the group as Shara and Hera call out in unison for them not to stray too far. 

Kanan glances at Hera, and there’s a blush on her face that rivals his. Ezra, Sabine, and Zeb are smirking knowingly at them, and even  _ Chopper  _ somehow manages to look smug. Kanan raises an eyebrow at Zeb and Chopper as the six of them make their way down the ramp. 

“I suppose  _ someone _ sent a transmission from the ship last night?” he asks. But there’s a smile on his face when he does. 

Chopper lets out a series of beeps.  _ I have no idea what you’re talking about _ . But the truth was plain as day in his voice, and Hera laughs next to him. 

The applause stops as they get to the bottom of the ramp, and that’s when the hugs start. Rex pulls him into an embrace while Shara grabs Hera, and the assembled Rebellion officers don’t seem inclined to stop until everyone’s gotten a hug. 

“Congrats, you two,” says Rex.

“I’m surprised it took him this long to ask,” Kallus says to Hera, which gets another laugh out of her. “He should have done it ages ago.” 

“Thanks, Alex. We got there in the end,” Hera chuckles.

Kanan winds up standing off to the side next to Ahsoka, as Hera chats amiably with her pilots. He can see Jacen and Poe off to the side, climbing onto one of the storage containers on the platform. For a moment he’s concerned, but he knows he would sense anything dangerous long before it happens. 

Ahsoka is giving him a searching glance, and it makes Kanan grimace. “Are you going to give me a lecture about the Jedi Code?” He’s given up on the  _ no attachments _ bit a long time ago, but he wonders how much Ahsoka still keeps to the old ways. 

But she gives him a small smile. “You’re not the first Jedi to break the ‘no attachments’ pledge. You’re not even the first one to get married.”

That makes him raise an eyebrow. “Other Jedi have been married? How?” He’s never heard about anything like that in all his time at the temple.

But he hears Hera calling his name before Ahsoka can tell him the story, and instead she laughs again. “Remind me to tell you about it, sometime.”

They mingle with the group for a while, before Shara starts dragging them towards the base mess hall, stopping briefly to collect Jacen and Poe from where they’ve managed to climb onto the sides of one of the X-Wings. Kanan can’t help but grin proudly at Jacen; it’s more evidence that the kid has indeed inherited his talent for trouble. Everyone wants to celebrate, and while Kanan is a little embarrassed about all the attention, it feels… good, in a way. It’s a slice of normalcy he never thought he would have, and he knows better than to try and argue with Rex when he hands him a beer. When he glances over at Hera, she has that look in her eye that she only ever reserved for him, and he knows she’s thinking the same thing.

\------

It’s hours before they’re able to extricate themselves, and the two of them make their way back to their quarters with Jacen. It’s a little exhausting, having been through two parties in a row, but Kanan knows better to complain about a good thing. He still can’t stop staring at the glint of the kyber on Hera’s hand. The joy on Hera’s face when everyone stopped to admire it is still warming his heart. 

Chopper is with them, and it’s only a moment after they walk through the door of their apartment that he starts warbling insistently. A moment later, he’s pulling up a transmission, and Leia Organa is standing in their living room, smiling brightly. 

“Does the whole  _ galaxy _ know?” Hera mutters. Kanan chuckles, squeezing her hand. 

“Chopper called me yesterday. Congratulations, you two.” Her eyes slide over to Kanan, and her smile gets even bigger, if that’s possible. “Kanan,” Leia says warmly. “It’s really nice to see you again.” 

Leia’s grown a lot since the last time they met, and Kanan can’t help but smile back at her. She’s become a force of nature in her own right, and something about her oozes grace and poise in a way that only a princess-turned-rebel-turned-senator could master. “Leia. It’s been a long time.” Then his face falls. “I’m… really sorry about Alderaan.” It’s still a shock to him, that the whole planet is just…  _ gone _ , but even though it’s kind of a mood-killer he feels compelled to say it, all the same. 

Leia’s still smiling, but her face falls imperceptibly. “Thank you. I was sorry to hear about… Well, I’m sorry it took you so long to find your way back.”

“I am too,” Kanan says, glancing at Hera with a small smile on his face. “Seems like I missed a lot around here.” 

“I’ll fill you in when I get there,” Leia says, and Hera’s grin gets bigger.

“The Senate finally gave you a break?” 

Leia nods. “I’m bringing the boys, too. Han grumbled about it, like he always does, but he’s excited about the prospect of a rematch, Hera. And Luke’s thrilled about meeting the Jedi.” 

That sends a funny feeling into the pit of Kanan’s stomach, but it’s chased away by Hera’s laughter. “Bring it on. When can we expect you?” 

“Should be there about 4 days from now. I have to go, but we’ll see you two lovebirds soon.” 

The hologram fades, and Kanan’s heart is still fluttering at the thought of meeting the newest Jedi. But then he spots Jacen, curled up in a ball on the couch and asleep, and he bumps Hera’s shoulder. She grins too, when she spots him. “C’mon, love. Let’s get this one to bed.” 

Jacen goes willingly, not even moving as Hera picks him up and brings him to his bed. They both tuck him in, before moving towards their shared bedroom. 

When they get there, Kanan catches Hera by the waist, pulling her towards him so his forehead leans against hers. “I love you,” he mumbles, when he meets her lips with his own. 

Hera hums, pulling him closer. “Love you, too.” The metal band on her finger is cold against his face, and even as tired as he is, his body responds to hers. When she lets out a breath as his hands tighten their grip on her hips, he knows she gets the message.

“Maybe we deserve a little  _ celebration _ of our own,” Kanan says, and all of his intentions shine brightly in his eyes and the curve of his smile. 

“Thought you’d never ask,” Hera says, nodding emphatically at him as she drags his face back down to hers. Her hands slip underneath his shirt to find his bare skin, and before long, they’re stumbling towards the bed, shedding clothes along the way. 

When they fall asleep a few hours later, naked and exhausted underneath the blankets, Kanan can still see the kyber crystal shining brightly on Hera’s ring finger. 


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The OT crew comes for a visit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kanan and Ezra meet Luke and Han!!! I'm so excited about this chapter- it was so much fun to write!!! 
> 
> One note: this fic is unrelated to my fic where Luke meets Ahsoka on Mustafar, so in this world, Luke and Ahsoka haven't spent a lot of time together. 
> 
> and holy HECK, thank you so much for 200 kudos!!!!!!! I'm so blown away <3

Kanan can’t help but admire the  _ Millennium Falcon _ . 

It’s not as nice as the  _ Ghost _ , of course, but when they catch sight of the freighter approaching the base’s landing platform, he can’t help but let out a low whistle. He grins sheepishly when Hera raises an eyebrow at him.

“Don’t worry,” Kanan mutters, sliding an arm around her waist. “She’s got  _ nothing _ on the Ghost.” 

“You’re damn right she doesn’t,” Hera mutters. Kanan chuckles, leaning over to kiss the top of her head.

“Hard to believe that thing’s survived this long,” Sabine says, nudging Ezra and jerking her head towards the scorched paneling on the side and the skewed communications dish. “Han Solo isn’t exactly known for being careful. He’s a risk taker, and his ship takes the brunt of it.” 

Kanan looks at Hera again. “Sounds like someone else I know. I’m surprised you two haven’t torn the whole galaxy apart, if his stunts are anything like the stuff you get up to.” 

Hera looks at him indignantly, but before she can formulate a proper response, the  _ Falcon _ touches down a short distance away. They walk over together to greet the newcomers, all wearing matching smiles. Jacen stares at the freighter with wide eyes from where he’s sitting comfortably on Sabine’s shoulders. 

Leia steps off the ship first, and Kanan’s struck by how much she’s grown since the last time he saw her. He saw it on the hologram, of course, but as the Senator walks calmly, serenely towards them, with an aura of regal charm radiating from her, it brings a smile to his face. Here is a young woman who’s had to learn a lot and overcome a lot much sooner than she should have, and as Kanan glances over at Ezra and Sabine, he’s reminded of all the ways they had to do the same. The way that he had to do the same.  _ She’d make a good Jedi _ , he can’t help but think. 

Following her is an older man that can only be Han Solo. He’s got a blaster strapped to his hip, and a devil-may-care attitude that he can sense from a mile away that reminds him of himself on his more reckless days. His smirk is easy and laid back, but wary, and it gets bigger when he sees Hera. Flanking him is a wookiee‒ Chewbacca, Kanan remembers. Next come two droids, and he can’t help but share a surprised look with Ezra when he recognizes the brilliant gold protocol droid and the blue astromech from all those years ago. Ezra sees it too, and he shrugs at Kanan‒  _ Hera will fill us in later.  _ There’s a crib floating between them, where Kanan assumes Leia’s son is sleeping.

And then Kanan freezes as he  _ feels _ the last man’s presence. It’s been  _ so long _ since he’s felt another Force-sensitive presence that wasn’t Ezra or Ahsoka, and he rests a hand on Ezra’s shoulder, knowing he must feel it too. Luke Skywalker is dressed in black Jedi robes with a lightsaber strapped to his hip. Kanan just stares as he remembers back to a different time, when there were thousands of Jedi and Anakin Skywalker was the famed hero of the Order. Luke is the spitting image of his father, wearing a warm smile that reminds him vaguely of Master Yoda’s. 

Hera shakes his arm off her shoulders and grabs his hand, snapping him out of his funk. The five of them walk towards the Falcon, and Kanan can’t help but feel his nerves growing.  _ You’re being ridiculous.  _

“General,” Leia says, as they meet in the middle. Hera lets go of his hand briefly as she’s pulled into a hug.

“Senator,” Hera says, smiling. “Nice to see you off the battlefield, for a change.” 

“Agreed. It’ll be good to spend some time together when the Empire isn’t breathing down our necks.” Hera pulls back, still smiling, and glances over at Sabine and Ezra. Ezra looks happy, but nervous, like he doesn’t know what to say. 

Leia’s eyes light up when she catches sight of him, though. “Ezra Bridger! So great to see you again.” 

“Princess,” Ezra says, his smile matching Leia’s as he holds out a hand for her to shake. Kanan notices the faint flush that spreads across his face as she takes it. 

Leia smiles at Sabine, who salutes back. The senator reaches over to ruffle Jacen’s hair, getting an excited squeal in the process, before moving back to stand in front of Hera. Luke’s been talking to R2 during the whole exchange, and Han and Chewy have been conspicuously silent, standing behind Leia.

“Alright, let’s see it.” Leia reaches for Hera’s hand, her smirk getting bigger. Kanan grins too, when he sees Hera blush, and Leia gasps as the crystal catches the light. 

“Quite the rock, Captain,” says Han, seemingly taking that as his cue to approach. He gives Kanan a once-over, before flashing him a devilish smirk and holding out a hand. “Han Solo.” 

Kanan grasps his arm. “Kanan Jarrus. Heard a lot about you, Captain Solo.” He nods towards the Falcon. “Quite the ship.”

“Fastest hunk’a junk in the galaxy,” Han says, and Kanan can practically see the pride radiating from him. 

“In your dreams, Solo,” Hera chimes in. She’s giving Han her famous  _ don’t try me _ look, but she’s still smiling.

Han looks at Kanan again, moving to stand next to him and clapping him on the back.  _ Friendly type, then.  _ “ _ Almost  _ the fastest, as Hera likes reminding me. Your partner here still owes me a rematch.” 

“One of these days, Han. I can outfly you in my sleep.” Kanan can almost picture the two of them trying to outmaneuver each other, and Hera’s focused, no-nonsense expression while she flies circles around the  _ Falcon _ . For a moment, all he can think is that he’s sorry to have missed it. But then Hera laughs, before continuing. “You’ve met Sabine and Jacen. This is Ezra– Kanan’s apprentice.” 

Han nods a greeting, as Ezra and Jacen both smile and wave. He raises an eyebrow as he turns back to Kanan. “Three Jedi now, huh? Having one of you around gives me enough of a headache.” 

Chewbacca pipes up from where he’s standing behind Han. Kanan’s Wookiee is  _ very _ rusty, but he’s pretty sure it roughly translates to  _ Everything gives you a headache. _

“Hey, can it, Fuzzball,” Han says, rolling his eyes at Chewy. But there’s no real malice in it– his voice still has that easy, laid back charm. It again 0reminds Kanan of himself, in a way. Han’s eyes grow serious as he turns back to Kanan. “Nice to have you both around again. General Syndulla wouldn’t shut up about either of you. And Luke’s still got a lot to learn about all this Jedi stuff.”

“I  _ heard _ that.” Luke materializes on Han’s left. Kanan didn’t even hear him approach. He would have sensed him, if he was paying attention, but Luke certainly moves like a Jedi, if nothing else. 

Kanan feels like the moment is suspended in time as Luke steps in front of him. Ezra moves to stand on his left, and he can feel a similar sense of awe and apprehension coming from him, too. It’s still jarring, the way Luke’s presence sticks out like a sore thumb, all hope and power and pure light that Kanan can feel mirroring his own aura in the Force. Luke’s smile gets a little bit bigger, and Kanan knows that Luke can sense the two of them just as strongly. 

“Master Jarrus. Master Bridger. It’s really great to finally meet you. Hera always spoke highly of both of you,” Luke says, holding out his hand. He has the warm, yet formal speech patterns that Kanan remembers from his Temple days, but the sentence makes him freeze entirely. 

_ Master Jarrus.  _ He imagines he must resemble a loth-cat caught in the headlights of an oncoming speeder as the words wash over him. How many times had he dreamt of hearing the words  _ Jedi Master Caleb Dume _ as a boy at the Temple? He feels Hera’s hand twine with his again as his throat suddenly goes dry. 

After a moment, Kanan swallows, trying to regain his composure a bit. He can see Ezra grinning from ear to ear next to him, and he rolls his eyes. “Easy, kid. Don’t get cocky,” Kanan says, jabbing Ezra with an elbow. Then he turns back to Luke. 

“Kanan. Just Kanan,” he says, gripping Luke’s arm firmly. “Luke Skywalker, right? I’ve heard a lot about you.” 

“Likewise.” Luke shakes hands with Ezra, who’s still smiling brightly and staring at Luke with something like awe. Kanan imagines he must be doing the same; he never imagined he would see another Jedi again after Ahsoka died.

Luke rubs the back of his neck. “Master Yoda said there were no others. I… I wish–” He sighs. “There’s so much I want to learn from you. Both of you.” But he looks directly at Kanan when he says it, and it makes his throat go dry again.

He can’t help but chuckle at the mention of Master Yoda. “Yoda always had a way of saying a lot and a little at the same time. He was kind of annoying that way.”

That makes Luke laugh. “He was.” 

Then Kanan’s expression turns thoughtful. “I knew your father, you know. You look just like him.” 

“I wish I could have known him. My  _ real _ father, anyway.” 

Kanan isn’t sure quite what he means by that, but he smiles. “I only met him a couple of times. He was a legend, back in the old days; every Padawan wanted to be like him.” Kanan’s smile gets bigger as Luke continues to stare. “From what I’ve heard, you more than live up to the name.” 

That makes the younger Jedi blush. “Oh, I don’t know about that,” he mutters. “But I try to.” 

Han chimes in again. “You blew up the Death Star, kid. If that doesn’t earn you some recognition, I don’t know what does.” 

Kanan laughs. Something passes between Luke and Leia that he can’t quite decipher as the two of them share a look, but the moment is gone before he can ask about it. Luke regards Kanan and Ezra again with a thoughtful expression. “Maybe the three of us could train together, while we’re all here.” 

“Four of us,” Ezra pipes up. “Ahsoka’s here on the base, too.” 

“I’ve only met her briefly,” Luke admits. “But that sounds great.” 

Kanan nods, and his stomach feels fluttery as he replies. “Sounds like a plan, then.”

“Can I come?” says a voice by Kanan’s leg. He looks down to see Jacen smiling up at him from where he’s wedged himself in between Kanan and Hera.

Kanan laughs again, reaching down to pick him up. “Sure, kiddo.” Jacen is looking at Luke with curious eyes, and Luke smiles again. “It’ll be fun.”

“Hi, Luke!” Jacen says, with a cheery wave. Luke nods back, his grin growing, before looking back at Kanan.

“Clearly I still have a lot to learn,” he muses. “But it’ll be nice to make some new friends.” 

“ _ And _ we’ve got wedding planning to do,” Leia says, looking at Hera. Kanan laughs, as Hera flushes a dark green. 

“And maybe we’ll get our rematch in after all,” Han says, that trademark smirk still on his face.

Kanan looked around at them all, at two families coming together for the very first time with no Empire to terrorize them. As the whole group makes their way towards the command center, he can’t help but think that this is the most he’s looked forward to anything in a long, long time. 


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kanan and Ezra are sparring on a sunny afternoon, when they're joined by a new friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HI HELLO I HAD SUCH HORRENDOUS WRITERS BLOCK ON THIS FOR AGES BUT I AM FINALLY BACK, I HOPE YOU LIKE THIS

“Getting rusty, kid?”

“Not on your  _ life _ , Master.”

Kanan’s lightsaber burns bright blue in the sunlight, a stark contrast against Ezra’s green as the two circle each other. They’ve commandeered an unused landing platform for the afternoon, and Kanan has to admit, it feels  _ very _ good to do something familiar again. It’s the most normal things have felt since he came back to base, and it’s the first moment since Luke, Leia, and Han arrived that he’s had a moment to breathe. 

It feels just like the old days, as he and Ezra come at each other again and again. Except Kanan was lying- Ezra’s  _ better _ now, and he can’t help but regret not being there to see him improve. Ezra rushes him with a smirk on his face, and it’s all Kanan can do to block his strikes as he advances. Ezra dashes under his legs, then slices at where his head had been only a moment before. But Kanan smirks too, because he  _ taught  _ Ezra that move, so instead he jumps, putting an ounce of extra momentum into it so he lands in front of him again. His smile growing, he points the blade at Ezra’s neck. 

“And that’s your head,” Kanan says, still grinning. Even if Ezra  _ did _ almost beat him, there’s no way he’s actually going to  _ admit it _ . 

Ezra, predictably, rolls his eyes. “I almost had you,” he grumbles.

“You say that every time, kid.” He holds out a hand to help Ezra up, brushing the dirt off his legs as he does. 

“It’s  _ true _ every time.” Ezra cracks his neck, before raising an eyebrow. “Again?” 

Kanan laughs. “You’ll have to do better than that if you’re gonna take me down.” But he nods anyway, igniting his saber as Ezra rolls his eyes again. 

“Yeah, yeah, whatever you say, Dad.” 

Kanan flushes. His stomach still does backflips whenever Ezra calls him that.

But before Ezra can draw his sword, a voice pops up from the sidelines. “Can I play too, Daddy?” 

It makes them both laugh, and Kanan walks over to where Jacen sits perched on one of the larger crates. His legs are swinging over the side, and he’s smiling widely. Clearly he’s been enjoying all the action. 

“Not right now, okay Jacen? You’ll be able to play with us when you’re a little older, I promise. But once we’re done here we’ll go bother Uncle Zeb to make those yummy cakes you like.”

His face falls, but he perks up again at the mention of Zeb. “Okay!” 

Kanan grins back. “Alright, kiddo. Just a little while longer and we’ll be ready to go.” 

As he turns back to Ezra, there’s a small smile on his face. “When do we start training him?”

Kanan has a stunned look on his face for a moment, before he lets out a nervous laugh. “I don’t think he’s ready yet. Hera wants to wait, and I need to make him a training saber first, anyway. But I think maybe soon we can start teaching him about the Force.”  _ And what an adventure  _ that’ll  _ be, _ he thinks.

Ezra shrugs. “Works for me.” Then the hum of his saber coming to life jolts Kanan out of his thoughts. Before he can blink, Ezra swings, a high strike that Kanan blocks with ease. There’s not as much heat behind it, this time, and Kanan can see Ezra’s expression turn thoughtful.

“So. The wedding. You guys give any more thought to it yet?” 

He laughs again, as he counters Ezra’s strike with a low blow of his own. “Not really.”

Ezra raises an eyebrow. “Really? I would’ve thought you’d want to just get it over with. You’ve already waited long enough.” 

Kanan shrugs. The truth is, they’ve barely talked about it, besides the obvious conversation. “We’re practically married already. Plus, we’re all busy lately- it’s tough to plan something.”

“Oh come on. You have to at  _ least _ throw a party or something.” 

He laughs again. “Hera wants to do something small… you know how she is.” He’d be happy with just a family dinner or something, and so would Hera, he knows. But part of him can’t help but want to do more. 

Ezra chuckles. “And you think Sabine’s gonna let that happen? She’s probably got all sorts of plans cooked up already.” 

“Her and my sister both,” says a new voice, from somewhere over Kanan’s shoulder. 

Luke Skywalker is walking towards them, grinning widely. “Alderaanians were famous for their giant weddings.” 

“Great,” Kanan mutters, blushing a little. “Of course they were.” 

Luke makes his way towards Kanan and Ezra, waving at Jacen before pulling out his own saber. “Mind if I join in? Been a while since I had someone to practice with.” His smile turns mischievous.

Kanan can’t resist. “Sure thing. Ezra might enjoy a challenge.”

“Backing out already, old timer?” Ezra asks, elbowing his arm lightly. 

“Wouldn’t dream of it, kid. Just wanna see what Skywalker here can do.” 

Ezra shrugs, and that cocky smirk on his face is back. Kanan steps out of their way, moving to stand on the sidelines with his arms crossed. Chucking, he leans down to whisper into Jacen’s ear. “Watch this, kiddo. Something tells me Uncle Ezra is about to get his butt kicked.”

Jacen laughs, leaning against his side as Luke ignites his lightsaber. It’s green, like Ezra’s, and the two blades shine brightly in the light. 

And then Luke moves, so quickly that Kanan almost misses it. Two quick strokes, and Ezra’s flat on his back, with Luke grinning victoriously above him. Kanan has to admit that he’s impressed. Luke is fast; almost as fast as Ahsoka, and for all Luke said about wanting to learn from them, he has a feeling that that sentiment might go both ways. 

“Again?” Luke says, grinning down at Ezra.

He huffs, blowing a stray hair away from his face. “Beginner’s luck.” Ezra stands up, his saber drawn as the two of them get ready to go again. 

This time Kanan can see Ezra’s really concentrating, all joking gone as he focuses his full attention on Skywalker. He fires off a quick three-strike combination, as fast as if he really were fighting for his life. Luke meets him blow for blow, blocking each stroke before countering with a forward thrust that Ezra’s forced to dodge. They’re evenly matched, it seems, trading glancing blows under the hot sun, until eventually they’re locked in a stalemate. Luke’s saber is inches from Ezra’s heart, while Ezra’s is pressed a hair’s breadth away from Luke’s neck.

“Well fought,” Luke says, deactivating his sword and holding out a hand to help Ezra up. The latter grumbled, but accepted it, muttering a begrudging  _ likewise.  _

“You’re not so bad yourself, blondie,” Ezra says, smirking again. 

“Alright, alright,” Kanan chimes in. “You’re good, Skywalker. Very good.” 

He can tell Ezra is about to protest, so he shuts him up with a light jab at his shoulder. “ _ You _ are still dragging your right foot when you pivot. It slows you down.” 

Ezra has an indignant look on his face, before he inexplicably smiles again. It’s a softer smile this time, and his cheeks flush pink. Before Kanan can ask, Ezra shakes his head. “I didn’t realize how much I missed you critiquing me,” he mumbles, letting out a nervous laugh. 

Kanan doesn’t say anything, just squeezes his shoulder reassuringly. 

He meets Ezra’s eyes for a moment, trying to convey everything he’s feeling before turning back to Luke. 

“Alright, kid,” Kanan says, drawing his saber. “Let’s see what you can  _ really _ do.” 

Ezra makes his way over to where Jacen is sitting. He picks Jacen up, seating him comfortably on his lap before leaning down to stage-whisper. Kanan knows it’s for his benefit, and Ezra makes sure that he can hear him. “Time to watch your dad take Luke down a peg or two, Jacen.” 

He can’t help but smile fondly at the both of them, and he’s so caught off guard by the sudden swirl of affection that he almost misses Luke’s first swing.

**Author's Note:**

> Not sure how many chapters this will be yet, but I'm really excited to write Kanera being happy <3


End file.
